Below I have listed just some of the answers. If you find this laying around somewhere—it may be for a reason. Do not get angry, do not get upset, open up and listen. Diabetes is not easy for anyone; most of all your child. If you see any comment that might be meant for you; it is not meant to ‘slam you’, try doing something about it for your child’s sake. (Also know that all responses were anonymous).
Here are the responses and I edited them a bit to keep them gender-neutral; that way they can apply in many instances.
This is what your child’s ‘other parent’ had to say:
I am nervous every time I leave our child in your care overnight without me
Why aren’t you willing to learn, after so many years, even the simplest things about caring for our daughter’s diabetes?
What would you do if something happened to me and you had to take over the care of our child completely?
Thank you for trusting me to manage our son’s diabetes care. I know how much you care about his health, and that you will do whatever it takes to keep him safe, but some jobs require one manager with some support staff!
How can you not be involved in your son’s care…
These nighttime checks aren’t a matter of you not wanting to wake up, so you shut off your alarm and ignore it. These nighttime checks are a matter of life and death for our sweet child who didn’t ask for any of this.
Please offer to take over care for a week to give me a break and to really learn how to take care of your son. Wouldn’t you feel better knowing that you would be able to take care of your son if something happened to me? Or do you not think about that? I worry about it.
I wish you would help out with the night checks. I am exhausted most of the time and could use a break.
I would really appreciate it if you did 12am & 3am checks at least twice a week so I can get some sleep.
I appreciate that you are trying, but I wish you would learn more about this monster and how we are dealing with it. Showing up at the Endo appointment 4 times a year is really not enough. You’ll feel more included if you put the time in, AND our child will have the benefit of two great minds helping control T1D.
Please support our child to look after his diabetes when visiting with you. I know as an absent parent you cannot understand the complexities of this condition and I do not expect you to be an expert. Please know that our child knows quite a lot about D, so please talk about it. I know that you don’t want to be ‘told what to do’ by your ex, but this is about keeping our child safe & healthy so please listen. Please phone me if you need any help whilst our child is with you. Please accept that they know more about this than you do and don’t overrule; ask questions and learn.
I wish you would check sugars or give a shot more than once a month!
Please treat us as a team — while I look after our child during the day & usually calculate carbs, I need your help. I don’t need lectures or ‘oops I forgot to ask to test because I was tired’ moments, and neither does our child.
It IS a big deal, it is a life and death deal !!!! Pay attention, and BE the parent.
If you notice supplies are getting low, don’t just tell me, do something about it.
Please try to be aware of what has gone on all day and be patient if your clothes aren’t clean, dishes aren’t washed, and the floors are sticky. If I’ve had a rough day caring for our child, just give me a hug.
Why don’t you take this seriously?
I am a diabetes dad.
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