Just no way. No way. The second child diagnosed with diabetes (not even to mention those who have 3 or more)? That subject was news in the DOC (diabetes online community) last week as a few people seemed to have received this horrible news. I remember the day our second was diagnosed like it was yesterday. It was just horrendous.
There is absolutely nothing ‘okay’ with having a second child with T1; there is nothing okay with having one. We are not gifted by God (or who/whatever you may believe in) who now trusts us with a second child. The belief that if anyone can handle it, we can; is not any consolation whatsoever. We are not fortunate because we know what we are doing. And some of the comments we heard; I truly could have done without.
“I would have thought after Kaitlyn was diagnosed you would have less sweets in the house.”
“Look how God trusts you….how fortunate.” (Point of reference, this person’s 2 children—no issues whatsoever).
“Remember that this will make you stronger.”
And always my favorite; “I’m so sorry, I know so much what you are going through as my dog has had it for years. You’ll be okay, we certainly got used to it.”
Yes, we now know what we are doing. Do we ever really know what we are doing? The learning curve was certainly easier. But everything else that you can think of, now having a child with diabetes was now multiplied by two. Everything. EVERYTHING.
And mostly, the anger.
After the pain, the hurt, and the acceptance; there was enough anger to fill the Grand Canyon. Our feeling of ‘we just cannot believe that another childhood is taken’ was grief beyond measure. It’s not fair. Why us? Why him?
But these feelings were not good enough; diabetes was not going to win. This is not a lost battle. I know those who lost the battle with diabetes…….and having a second child, as bad as that is; is not it.
In fact I’m only just getting started, diabetes does not stand a chance.
I will tell you two things.
One; the anger is the same. The anger of March 20th, 2009 has not gone away. Neither has the anger diminished from September 26th 1992.
Number two is a little more interesting. Despite the anger; we faced day 2, then 3, then 4; week 1, week 2, week 3; month 1, month 2 and so on and so on: our drive became exponentially increased as well. The drive for a cure, the drive to find better tools, the drive to make a difference were always at an all time high–all those efforts found a way to increase as well.
I’m convinced without a shadow-of-doubt that the more one throws themselves into the world of diabetes with the reason to make a difference; the better diabetes can be faced head on. We do not fear going for an A1C; we will accomplish what is needed at school with management and/or a 504 plan; we know where to look for better management tools; and don’t even begin to tell me what research centers are out there UNLESS the work has an absolute means to the end; a cure. It takes a real lot to fool me now, and quite frankly I just don’t have the time to listen to crap.
To anyone who has anyone they love with diabetes; don’t let diabetes win. Do something!
When it comes to diabetes; get on-get off-or get run over…….x2. I am a diabetesdad.