The Chair is Empty….We Have Lost Another.

blue candle
After speaking to a mom who lost a child recently, who is dealing with the loss on her own even though I gave her many resources which she stated she may utilize, I was struck by the voices we have lost that must remain ‘loud’ with all that we do.  I wrote the following after I hung up the phone with this incredible mom.

There was a time people commented and smiled on my young voice that matched my cute face that sold the lemonade to raise money for a cure but now;

the chair is empty.

There was a time my daddy fixed his bow tie and mommy looked really pretty and I was handed a microphone to speak why I wanted a cure but now;

the chair is empty.

I was on the front page of the local newspaper for my fund-raising events, thousands of people participated but now;

the chair is empty.

My mommy is sad now, daddy and she hardly speak these days, and the joy of getting ready for those special events don’t happen any more because at my part of the dinner table;

the chair is empty.

Because I am gone my voice cannot cease.  My existence cannot be shut out.  Because I am gone it can never be that I never was; even though now

the chair is empty.

Scream louder for me now than when I was here, because my story is not how I was able to live but my story is now about how

the chair is empty.

You are not speaking for just me now, you are speaking for all those who might end up like me; people left behind to try to pick up the pieces in a home where

the chair is empty.

So hear my voice from afar, at a time when we all ‘looked like’ nothing was wrong is not the only time to shout the wrong with living with diabetes; it’s all the times when the voices have been silenced that others need to scream the loudest; or it just could turn out that those pretty little dresses; and tiny little gala suits; and those bikes; and those sneakers; and those purchase-at-a register-scannables; those lemonade stands; those garage sales; those lectures at schools; all get taken away and all there is to see is that

the chair is empty.

Another one has passed away.  There have been too many empty chairs lately….JUST TOO MANY—-and I’m tired of it and I’m mad as hell; how about you?

I am a diabetes dad

I am adding a PS to this column at 1:10 p.m. EST: I know that we all need to live life in the positive—-many of my articles state that. THIS article is meant to be more than thinking positive; it is more than we need better management tools and a cure quicker; it is more than to stay positive. THIS article is specifically not to forget those silenced voices.  EVER!  We need to be mindful of another side to this disease.  Those that were diagnosed at death–those voices need to ring out loudly to the GP medical  and school community-at-large to be on the lookout and do a simple blood test; whatever it takes from the medical text books to the halls of Congress—-DO THE TEST.  Those who died from a hypo/hyper while they slept.  Remember them. We need to remember these voices; all of them in our battles while we stay focused on the positive and living life to the fullest. This is the point of today’s article.  Sort of; ‘never forget’ in the midst of all that we do.
Just wanted to add this point.  Thank you.  DD

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8 replies on “The Chair is Empty….We Have Lost Another.”

Most people see my ten year old son with his pump and monitor and think he is managing so well but what they don’t see is the days and nights of him having to control highs or lows and us having to change out things because they failed no matter what time it is.They don’t see that he counts every carb that goes in his mouth and can’t just “grab a bite of something” without knowing every ingredient in it. They don’t see that he was up half the night fighting his sugars yet begs me to let him go to school the next day so he doesn’t miss something. They don’t see me not sleeping three nights in a row because I want to make sure I don’t miss him going too low since he is borderline. They don’t see the fear I have for the future even though I know that I will move heaven and earth to make sure he has everything humanly possible to make this horrible disease better. WE NEED TO FIND A CURE.

Couldn’t have said it better! We manage our kids so well their disease becomes invisible, it is a double edged sword. If people could see all the effort and sleep deprived nights that go on behind the scenes…

May I please copy this to add to a letter I’m writing to the principal and teacher of my niece that has T1D? I’m so sorry you have to worry…all parents of these kids.

My second ever blog post dealt with this topic. Having 2 little girls with T1 it is on my mind a lot I’m sad to say. They have CGMs, Rissa even has the mysentry, soon Audi will have the new dexcom, but technology is not full proof. As I write this comment Audi checked her BG and was 70. Diabetes will never reast and neither will we. Thank for sharing a tough post.

People seem to think, especially some doctor’s I have ran across, that having an insulin pump and continuous make things easier. Yes it might but only to a point. People think oh you don’t have to worry about it when you have a pump an continuous monitor, actually you do. Yes my continuous has made it so I have a reading on my blood sugars as long as its working properly. There are still days where the continuous is off from my actual blood sugar and I’m actually a lot higher or lower than I’m supposed to be. This can be difficult because I have hypo-unawareness as well. As a T1 kid, you have the issues with growing up including increasing hormones. As a T1 adult, you have the stresses of life from taking care of your children and family to jobs and other stresses. None of these help your diabetes anymore. I can say that yes with my pump and continuous it has made things easier, but there are those out there that think it should be perfect. Its not.

This really hit home with me, especially the comments about those that are diagnosed at death. We came so close to that with our then 13 year old daughter. I had her to the doctor the week before for a sports physical for school. A simple blood or urine test would have diagnosed her then–before hr blood glucose reached over 900 and she was in a coma. I pray every day that she and others don’t have to go through this and neither do their parents.

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