While they sleep.
Do they know we stare at them first?
Do they know we think “…where can I do this without disturbing their sleep?”
Do they know we want to do this as quickly as possible?
Do they know we would stay all night, every night, if we could go without sleep?
Do they know how much we care?
Do they know how much we want them to have everything as much as those who do not have diabetes…..and even more?
Do they know we hold them in their bed while they drink or eat something to raise their blood sugar, so they do not fall back down unaware?
Do they know that we leave and we cry sometimes?
Do they know that as we go back under our sheets we think, ‘I will need to test again in two hours’?
Do they know that sometimes we ‘scrunch’ our toes in the carpet to distract showing anything on our face, just in case they see?
Do they know we usually kiss them and tell them, again, how brave they are and we love them even though we also know they do not hear us.
Do they know what we do?
While they sleep.
I am a diabetes dad.
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10 replies on “Do they Know what We Do………..While they Sleep?”
Thank you for this post. My 16 year old (today!) son had a very high blood sugar after midnight. He had fallen asleep, probably from his work at after school marching band practice. As I was going to bed late, I thought he was still up because his light was on. He was asleep. I told him, hey, let’s check your blood sugar. It was 396. We corrected with a shot. He want to bed. I set my alarm for 1:45am. And so went your post today… Happy Birthday to my son today! He was dx at 10 and is now a strong 16 year old young man!
This one made me cry….beautiful words…so true…my son even at 22 needed me last week….was low and couldn’t eat so I stayed up to check every hour for awhile
So sad and true, every night I mutter an incantation for good numbers as I go in to test, sadly it doesn’t always work. Those nights when sleep does just seem too risky, when you would indeed stay awake all night to keep them safe.
Should they? Part of me wants my son to know, part of me doesn’t. Silly boy feels guilty when he sees us do things for him. Yet he would rather we did things for him. A double edged sword.
Beautifully written piece Tom!
Tears here too. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been awake since 2:00 AM, when I got up to check my son’s bg. It’s been a long day here at work. However, my son woke up this morning, so it’s all good!
This brought tears to my eyes. My 12 year old sons numbers have been creeping up, so, we have been making some basal adjustments. I feel so bad for him. In addition to all the daytime checks, now, I am checking him a 9 p.m., 12 a.m., 3 a.m., and 6 a.m. I don’t sleep. Many times, I stay up till 3 a.m., then my husband does the 6 a.m. check before he goes to work. I just can’t seem to sleep. Knowing that I have to go in and stab him in the finger. It breaks my heart. Last night, it took three pricks before I was able to draw enough blood for the test. I dread the night time. It is such a lonely time. Just waiting until the next time I have to go and cause him pain again. Praying that he won’t go too low or too high. Praying that I don’t mess up and he will still be alive in the morning.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Why do you always make me cry?! To see it written down, how it really is, to know someone else understands, just seems to make me cry! Keep doing it though. Please! It is probably a good release for all of us (although I have to make sure the kids aren’t around while I read you because you always make me cry!) xx
I can honestly say that I have never given a lecture or wrote an article with that intent….not once…ever. When an idea hits me, I write. Sometimes it resonates, sometimes it causes a different reaction, sometimes it causes a dialogue….and my favorite is when sometimes it inspires someone into an action they have not done before. We all are in this together. It will only be us who ‘fixes’ it whatever that means to you.
I go to great lengths so that she doesn’t know what I do for her in the middle of the night. It’s hard during the summer to explain why Mommy needs a nap. She’s at the age where she picks up on things. I just don’t want her in any way for any reason to feel responsible for how tired I am all the time…she’s got enough to deal with.