I Just Can’t Do It Anymore

At some point or another, we parents seem to come to a roadblock where we feel horrible but realize that just one more shot, one more low, one more sleepless night; well, we’ll just completely lose it. The thought, “I just can’t do it anymore” comes to the forefront of our mind. We look in the mirror and the guilt for feeling such a way overwhelms us and we cry uncontrollable tears both out of guilt for feeling this way, and also, out of the severe frustration that another day has gone by and our kids still have diabetes.

Twenty eight years out, I can tell you that the feeling never really goes away. I have learned that it is at these times where I need to focus my energies on just how special our kids are with what they deal with day in and day out. Early on in the middle of the pandemic I wrote an article about how our kids, once again, had to step up, even with their diabetes. No matter what life gives them, they have no choice but to deal with what is coming at them in full rage.

And they do.

Chance are they ‘take on’ what they do because of what you taught them. We made them understand that if we could take away their diabetes and take it on our selves, we would. We shared that we would have their backs whenever they needed us to, and we did. We were the ‘bad guy’ when we had to, and we were the shoulder to cry on when that was needed most. Onward.

I have never met a parent that did not tell me how much they would take on if needed. We’re parents, this is what we do. I have never tried to make our kids feel like I have any idea what this disease is about, not having it, how could I? But here is where you need to cut yourself a break because our kids, and may they never, understand our feelings either. By the way—-this includes grandparents also.

Part of our role is to make sure they never have that thought because we are here; we are the fortress, we are the strength, we are the foundation……..for all they need. Think back to when you started this journey. “How will I ever………” and a million scenarios came into play. The thought “I just can’t do it anymore” came into mind and you realized that you had to, for them. Think back on how lost you were that first week, even if it was just last week, and how you moved forward in what seemed like slow motion. But forward nonetheless.

Forward is good.

“I just can’t do it anymore.” Yes you can and you will. You must. And there will be days that they are back out there and score that goal, get that scholarship, get that job, pitch a no-hitter, graduate college, get married, have kids. Know this, as you witness these days as well as all those long nights, you had something to do with those successes.

Onward, indeed.

I am a diabetes dad.
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