Second Child Diagnosed Lottery……..Not the Win Anyone Wanted!

Ping pong ballaDad, I’m peeing a lot.
Thus started a series of events that would end up with my youngest of three becoming our second child diagnosed with type 1 diabetes (T1D).  You can find many statistics about having two kids with T1D and if you get more than 3 sources that agree on a particular stat, and tell you the same thing, kindly let me know.

Chances are slim……….the lottery no one wants to win.  But we surely did.  That was in 2009……and I remember like it was yesterday.   Seems to be happening more if you ask me……..but I have no science to back that, it may just be social media and we hear more about it today than we did years ago.

What I do know, is that it’s not a common occurrence, but it does happen.  The most I have ever heard is a women who claimed she had six kids with T1D……..jeez louise…..a saint I’m sure.

Here are a few things to remember about those of us who ‘won the lottery’ of having more than 1 child with this disease.  Yes, we know the drill but please do not say to us; “At least you know what to do.”
We know this point and it is of little comfort to be reminded about this fact as if that is all we have to be grateful for; the fact we already know about it.

What we are thinking:
“Really?”
“Why would another childhood be taken?”
“Why would life/God/nature/fate (however you believe) be so cruel?”
“Where did ‘fair’ go?”
“I cannot do this.”
“I cannot go through with this…..again!”
“What is my first step?”

What we want to do:
Get life back to as normal as can be as we continue to try to get life back to normal as can be from the first child diagnosed…….did you get that?
DO something with this INCREDIBLE amount of anger overcoming us that we would have to deal with this (place any expletive) all over again.
Balance this balance from the balance of trying to balance the family balance from the first time our lives were thrown off balance…….did you get this?
Find a breathe.

Yes, those of us who have been down this roadway will survive…..because that is what we do.  Want to help, send a basket full of supplies…even if it is juice boxes and the necessary foods to treat a low and where you do not need a prescription.  Send a bottle of wine to a couple with a note—-“Don’t know what you’re going through but find a corner to share this together.”  Do something to comfort because words…..honestly….only help a little…..go an extra step.

There is just so much that overwhelms a parent when a second child is diagnosed…..it is not as simple as a first child and now it is ‘just’ a second child…….unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.  It’s an incredible amount of pain as you realize what you know has just impacted another child.  The first time, we ‘just got through it’ and had to learn so much.  We had THAT distraction. The second time, every single thing we did, we now knew what it meant.  And it hurts.

This disease sucks for all who have it and all who are parents and must watch…..and to some, watch all over again;  and even some, watch more than that.  None of us ever wants pity, we know what we must do…..and we’ll do it…….because whether it’s one, two, three, or even six kids diagnosed with diabetes…….that is what we do.  Because there is no room for diabetes in anyone’s life and we will make dang sure that the disease fights for anything and everything it thinks it can take.
I am a DiabetesDad.
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13 thoughts on “Second Child Diagnosed Lottery……..Not the Win Anyone Wanted!

    • Just felt the tears prick my eyes, feel like you are telling our story! We had our youngest boy diagnosed 2 years ago , 3 years after his eldest sister ( who is now 15.
      I look at our middle daughter and pray lightning isn’t going to strike 3 times.
      We crack on with it but it’s so hard doing everything double.
      We are just starting on 4 weeks of pump training because the hospital don’t have a plan for the fact you’ve already done it once .
      Good luck and keep up the good work on your amazing page x
      Joanne

      • Thank you for your heartfelt words—-we are all in this together and as long as I have a breathe in me—–I will be in the fight until we get what we need…..a cure. Thanks again for writing.

      • Yup not easy. I am 1 of 4 T1Ds in my family of 7. We r so used 2 it. 1st 2 went to hospital. After that just drs office and training- skipped hospital stay
        My endocrinologist says very unusual hasnt really heard of fam w over 3 t1ds.yay lottery. Matures everyone faster tho.. i wouldnt want anyone elses problems happy w just Type 1 ☺

  1. I am sorry to hear this news. Tell your child that it is not a race but a journey. You accomplish things by placing one foot in front of the other. Don’t run to the finish just enjoy the experience of seeing things. I have been a type 1 diabetic for 46 years and I remember checking my urine for sugar. I also remember the colors that were good and the colors that were bad. Things have gotten a lot better for treatment. 6 shots a day and blood sugar tests 12 times a day. I will be praying for y’all.

  2. My oldest was diagnosed 20 months after my youngest was…i’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face because you’ve said perfectly all the feelings I’ve had since that second diagnosis came in January 2015. Thank you.

  3. I’m so sorry to hear this. Yes, it’s no fun winning this lottery. Mine were diagnosed 10 months apart. And the second one even had negative antibodies in the TrialNet study. I still remember ten years ago, thinking after 3 days of my 6 year old suddenly wetting the bed each night, that I should check her bg. It was 353. I cried all night because I knew what it meant. My son was 12 and could do so much more independently. This was so hard being a 6 year old. It changed our lives again because we had to leave work to give her a shot at school until we got her on a pump, she couldn’t go over to friend’s and it was harder to get a babysitter at that age. Things were just harder it seemed with a younger one. It did help having her brother to check bg and do things together. Yes, we made it through, but it’s still hard and there’s nothing that anyone can really say to make it better. I like your idea of taking a bottle of wine to the parents. They need to be able to talk about the hurt and pain with each other and process it all. Prayers for you all as you adjust AGAIN.

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