A Really Tough Question About Having More Children After One is Dx?

StorkI read a line of post recently that was heart breaking.

“We have a child recently diagnosed with diabetes and I was wondering if those who have a child with diabetes, how much it played a role in having any more children?”

To begin with; in no way, shape, or form will I attempt to make any decision on what is right and what is wrong in this instance and neither should anyone else.  How personal a decision to make.

There are so many disease states out there where genetics play such a role in this decision process.  I could state all sorts of numbers with all sorts of diseases but that is not my purpose here; but I think this is a heart-wrenching-call on so many young couples that I would seek the input of others. 

Keep the post to YOUR experience and HOW you came to the decision.  Perhaps we can help even one person in this oh-so-personal-process.   I will say this about our situation being well after the fact.

Having our second child diagnosed at age 13 in 2009 (our youngest of 3); we are not sorry about that decision on bringing another child into this world after diagnosis.  Even now that Rob has been diagnosed, angry as we are/were; we also know that life is life and there is a whole long list of things that could happen with/to our kids in their lifetime.  We could not and do not live life that way.

This was OUR decision and clearly yours may/can be different.

Rob means the world to us and his smarts, business sense, loyalty, and sense of humor are traits this world needs, and what we love so much about him.  Does he want diabetes; of course not.  And it is no picnic to manage this day in and day out.

Perhaps we are asking the wrong people.  Perhaps it is not the parents alone where we should be seeking this answer.  I REALLY SEEK input from those people who have diabetes.  Perhaps they can give  incredible insight to the answer parents seek.  It is a really tough question: If you have diabetes, do you wish you were never born?

No one would want anything to happen to their children; should it stop you if the odds are increased by a common denominator?  Only you and your spouse/partner can answer that question.  I wish you luck in your search and hopefully some comments added here can give you food for thought.

I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

0 thoughts on “A Really Tough Question About Having More Children After One is Dx?

  • When our daughter was 5 and our son was 2 we decided to not have any more children because our son had horrible food allergies, asthma and scarring eczema. What he was going through on a daily and nightly basis was more than we ever wanted another child to experience. We had two kids, a boy and a girl and felt that made a nice family for us. That summer as I went for my first appointment to begin the process of getting my tubes tied I found out I was pregnant with child #3. It was a confusing time for us since we had already decided on no more kids. Four months later our daughter was diagnosed with Diabetes. I went through with the tubal after our second daughter was born so there would be no more kids for sure this time. When our youngest daughter was 11 she was also diagnosed with D. I don’t regret having the kids I have but I made darn sure I wasn’t going to have any more. I’m sad they have D and wish it hadn’t happened to them, and don’t want to take that chance again.

  • Jeanette Collier says:

    absolute joy I am blessed with from my son, 12 – Dx at 10. His disease would not be a thought in my mind if we were having more children. Type 1 isn’t easy but he has a full, beautiful life and his disease doesn’t make him less perfect to me or to himself

  • I have asked this question…but I have a small kink in it. My son is GT and has social issues, he is 6 and he can be very challenging in social situations. Our t1d is 3 and on most days, her diabetes can be easier to handle than the emotional rollercoaster of our older. However, within the week of Kyli being born, I knew that we were missing one more child. I still feel this way, but there are days when I don’t think that I could handle one more child, that it wouldn’t be fair to the older two. I want a 3rd child, I figure the last one will either be our wild child who keeps everyone young or our tamer of the family. No matter what, this little one will be the piece in our puzzle. This has been a long struggle for us. The one thing I will say is that, while I do have a concern about t1d in another child, we have one with and one without and we are thriving with what we have been given. T1d is not our biggest worry.

  • This has been one of the big factors of having another child for us. We have a strong genetic component to Type1 so we approach the question as if we have another child they WILL have T1D. Our question has been- can we afford to pay for 2 children’s medical needs associated with T1D. Our answer is no- we have trouble now- so we have chosen to not have another child. I would love another, but it’s not the right decision for us right now.

  • Arianna Lamosa says:

    We were planning on having another one but when my daughter was diagnosed at she 3, we decided to only have one. Type 1 is not easy and I have alot if mixed feelings that I can control. Why bring another child and there is a possibility that it can have type 1 or not. Although type 1 can have anything, flexibility is not always there and the other child as to deal with that as well. My choice not having anymore.

  • Why should it make a difference T1 is an unfortunate thing that may or may not happen again it doesn’t make the child who they are and doesn’t/ shouldn’t stop them from being who they are they are not T1 they live with T1 and there is no way of knowing what any other children may have to deal with or if it will happen again to future children I may have This is life things happen all lives have challenges some more than others it’s how you deal with them that matters be who you are and become what you want to be rise above the illness take time when diagnosed to be angry but then you need to accept it and live life I have two T1 children one is a twin one is not I watched then twin expecting that if anyone else would get it it would be her but it wasn’t you just never know and if we use T1 as a factor in our choice to have more children or not what are we telling our T1 kids who will grow up and want families of their own someday ?

  • We had five children when one of my twins was diagnosed with T1D in April of 2010, and people were always amazed at how we managed with five kids. I always said, “Five kids is easy; five kids and one with diabetes is immeasurably more difficult!” However, later that year, we found out we were expecting our sixth. To be honest, I was afraid to share the news. I knew people would judge us and say, “Why would you have another when you’re already getting so little sleep these days.” We kept the news to ourselves longer than we had with any of the other pregnancies, and decided to tell our kids and family on Christmas Eve. We wanted 2010 to be remembered as “The year we found out we were having baby number 6” not “The year Lili was diagnosed with diabetes.” I knew that having another baby would also change things for me and my daughter so that I wasn’t hovering over her 24/7. Every moment of my life couldn’t be all about checking to see if she was alright because I’d have a baby to take care of as well. I knew that would be good for both of us. Our family was worried about the added lack of sleep and stress, but it is of course, all worth it in the end. My little one’s older siblings call her “the sunshine of their lives.”

  • I am a Type 1 diagnosed at age 8. My mother was divorced so more kids for her was not a question. However when I got married a lot of people thought they had the right to tell me not to have children because they would get “it”. I have 2 beautiful boys (9, 18) and neither of them have it. I would not give up the blessing of my kids on a what-if scenario, I don’t live the rest of my life like that.
    As far as do I wish I had never been born because I got diabetes? No, I live life to the fullest and have always been independent about taking care of my disease myself. I played sports in school, went on sleep-overs and summer camps and trips out of the country. I did not want a hovering parent restricting my movements for fear of what-ifs and I try to give my children that same advantage.
    Just my opinion.

  • i put this from a pwd point of view i was the last child anyway its now 16 years on and although i’ve been diagnosed with several other chronic conditions my brother who is 12 years older than me has nothing. sometimes it is the luck of the draw and i still have a really great life despite having D obviously i don’t have to factor in medical costs being in england but as much as i’d love to have a family someday if i ended up with a guy who had autoimmune conditions himself or in his family it would require a long talk over that decision i think because of the guilt i’d feel if any child of mine ended up with diabetes or another autoimmune condition but then again there’s so many conditions out there it could happen to anyone

  • I have type 1 diabetes and was diagnosed at 15 years old, at 16 I met a man who was also type 1 diabetic and at 17 I fell pregnant with my daughter Amie now nearly 12…… although I was worried about the baby developing diabetes especially with 2 type 1 parents I wouldn’t of let it change my decision to have the baby……. months later I had a healthy baby girl 2 weeks early by c-section weighing 101b 3oz, and 2 years later I recognised the symptoms and she was diagnosed type 1 on the 14/08/2004 , I split up with her father and met another man (non diabetic) and 7 years later I had another daughter born 4 weeks early and 21 months later I had a baby boy 4 weeks early they are now 4 and 2 and up to now they are healthy although I do worry about them developing diabetes I know I would of chosen to have more children even if the diagnosis of diabetes was definite

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>