(Editor’s note: at 1:56 EST I licensed a different ‘supermom’ photo and posted it—the previous one belonged to Leighann Calentine and I apologize if I confused anyone; and also to Leighann–it was used in error. Posted is the new one. Thank you.)
TODAY’S POST BEGINS HERE:
Now I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule that d-moms are the ones that ‘carry-the-load’ when it comes to caring for a child with diabetes. And if you’re a d-dad who is the one who carries the lions-share of responsibility I commend you; but today’s article is to d-dads like myself; who know who the primary caretaker is regarding diabetes.
We d-dads have roles to do and surely I’m at what I do constantly but today is to address the day-to-day care that d-moms undertake. It is not as if a d-mom’s plate is not already full with the day-to-day undertakings of school, play, meals, house, life, life, and life; they also take on the responsibility of diabetes management for our children. THAT is a huge job.
The sleepless nights, the staying current on diabetes management, the trips to the doctor’s office, the trips to have a blood test done; the trips to the school, the conversations with the school nurse, the conversations with the teachers, the conversations with those where your child will be spending the afternoon, the planning of the many diabetes charity events; d-dads all of this does not ‘just happen’.
It happens because the d-mom of your child becomes supermom when it comes to diabetes. I have long stated that Jill deserves all of the credit for the well-being of our kids. If you ever met Jill, you would know that she is about as far from being ‘the bad guy’ as you will ever meet. She hates the role. But when it comes to diabetes she has played the role more times than she cared to making sure Kaitlyn and Rob “get diabetes’.
I’ve noticed more times than I care to, the black mascara on the pillow case from her tears of frustration from the day before. I have noticed the amount of rage she has toward this disease and know how she hates it. Hates it so much that she will do whatever it takes to make sure our kids move forward. Don’t fool yourselves for one second d-dads; the d-moms have earned a special place in heaven for all of their work and I’m writing today to remind you of this fact.
Every charity under the sun has all of these ‘Diabetes Days’ of recognition and yet the one person who needs to be thanked more than any other; and the one deserving of a recognition day more than any other; are the d-moms of this world and many times what they do go barely noticed.
So if you are a d-dad and you KNOW (and you WILL know) where this credit is deserved; take her out to dinner, buy her flowers, do something nice for the d-mom in your child’s life. Even if you are divorced; give her something and say “Look, I just want you to know that this ‘diabetes thing’ can really beat the crap out of people and I just want you to know that I appreciate all you do and I KNOW WHAT you do.”
This would not be a bad thing to do.
So to the d-moms out there; thanks for taking on the burden of the diabetes in the household……….it’s not said enough, Thank You, you are a Supermom.
I am a diabetes dad.
Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.
0 thoughts on “D-moms………..We Just Have No Clue!!!!! Thank You.”
Tim Brand says:
Well said. I can add to that one bit. Nice post to start off the week!
Thanks Tim….always great to hear from you.
Denise Pasko says:
This is awesome. Thank you for writing this. I am a d-mom and I very much appreciated your words!
The THANK YOU goes to you and those like you Denise—I appreciate your words.
Very nice post, Tom. I very recently vented my frustration about my husband’s supposed lack of involvement with D care. We had a chat about a week ago and I came to the realization that he does “enough”. Which to me, seems like not enough because it’s 1/10th of what I do as a d-mom. He’s a great D-Dad, but for him “enough” is fine. If I were out of the picture, I know he would take care of our daughter and that she would be fine with “enough” care. But, as a d-mom, I strive for perfection. And it makes me a little crazy. It also makes me a little crazy that her d-dad doesn’t strive for perfection and is content with “enough” because I can’t be okay with just “enough”.
Your words are honest and true and I am sure not easy to share—-I truly appreciate you chiming in today.
Thank you x
As always, Tom, insightful, thought provoking, and so very very true. I too am one of those dads who does ” enough ” (at least in my opinion!), but I will never be able to match the blood, sweat, and tears Kim puts in on a daily basis… She is more than Super Mom, she is a Goddess…X two if you add Crohn’s care to the mix…
Thanks for the reminder, and the virtual slap upside the head.
Blessings to you and your family!
Thanks Marko—it is a slap I also give myself…..don’t think for one second that I let myself off the hook here…..I didn’t and I don’t.
Preston Clegg says:
During my son’s almost 15 year battle with Diabetes, I know that my wife has had to do a lot of the battles for diabetes. For much of the time at the beginning, we tag-teamed so that we didn’t have to leave my son in the care of others. But for almost 7 years, my wife has stayed at home, while I have been the primary wage earner for the family. However, I have made an effort to be at endo and other medical appointments (my son also has Aspergers & ADHD in addition to Diabetes) so that I know what is going on with my son’s diabetes management. I don’t have the most flexibility with my job schedule (my hours are posted 1-2 weeks ahead of time), so I have to let my employer know ahead of time when I need to get off early or need to take a vacation day to attend a doctor’s appointment. But if it is your kids, you do what you have to do.
Jeanette Collier says:
Words cannot explain how much I appreciate this post, thank you diabetes dad you have made my morning!
Very thoughtful…..thanks Tom!