I was witness to two people discussing a point of view regarding an aspect of care for their child. One person did something one way; and the other did it another way. I’m purposely staying from what aspect of care it was because I do not want the discussion that may follow to be about an aspect of management; I want it to be about discussions.
Here is what I found to be both interesting and valuable hearing these two people. Person A believed very strongly in how this aspect was handled; Person B did it differently but only because that is how they were taught. Person A was working so hard to tell Person B that they were wrong that they never heard Person B ask the question of, “why?”
The discussion only became how wrong Person B was; and that was a deep error. In many attempts Person B wanted to be taught and Person A…….never heard it. The discussion did not end well at all with Person A just saying, “Let’s just agree we disagree.”
Nope. They didn’t disagree, one just had no idea what the other was saying and one just wanted to be heard. Have you ever been caught in that type of discussion?
I was taught long ago; politics, religion, and whatever; that the best way to go into a discussion is that you know nothing about it. This will force you to listen. As you listen, you will learn. At some point in the discussion you will come to a fork in the road; is it better that you are heard to make your point; or is it better to learn something when you walk away from the discussion? Both roads can be correct. based on timing.
But I’ll take knowledge any day of the week. One can never learn anything while they are talking.
Being right is not always everything it’s cracked up to be. If the person isn’t ready to be taught, no matter how right you are, they will never hear you anyway.
So in discussions, know that the way someone does something may not be wrong, it just may be different from the way you handle it. Take the time to listen, otherwise we would all only have one way to make holiday cookies——and that just ain’t so……..is it?
I am a diabetes dad.
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