I have never tried to ‘fake it’ about what it is like to have diabetes. I have always made it clear to my children that I DO NOT understand what they go through; but I have also spared them what we go through as parents. Unless you are a parent of a child with T1 Diabetes, you have no idea. We are a select group.
There are sounds that occur on this roadway that no one would understand………..no one but those who live it. You know those sounds don’t you? As Simon and Garfunkel wrote, and sung, years and years ago…….they are the Sounds of Silence.
Hello Darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again…….” You know these sounds.
They happen, usually, between 1 am and 4 am. You are sitting by yourself. You have treated your child and going back to sleep is just not an option yet. Either you have to wait to re-check; or you are just too wired to return to your bedroom.
You are sitting in the kitchen, dining room, or living room. There is not a sound…….but there are plenty of sounds; that only we as parents know.
The ticking clock. You find yourself staring at it, as if the ticking sound is talking to you. Reminding you of things that you need to do.
The humming of a refrigerator or some other appliance. For some reason no one hears it during the day but you hear it now. The sound sings to you a soothing peacefulness. How could an appliance comfort you……..only a parent at 3 am waiting for blood sugar to rise from being so low would know.
Cars to drive by at night. A million cars go by your house during the day but at night when they pass, you wonder who the heck else could be a wake at this ungodly hour. Not just be awake, but be out and about and you think to yourself; “well that’s silly”.
As you take a sip of whatever it is you are drinking (we always seem to grab a cup of something…..don’t we?) you hear yourself breathing. Sometimes heavier than other nights. The breathing makes us wonder about ourselves. “I need to lose a few pounds”…”Wow working out is paying off”…”Where did THAT gray hair come from”…”why don’t those wrinkle creams ever work”…….these thoughts are usually shattered by the loud ticking clock again.
You take a look at the time, twenty minutes has passed. Time to recheck and possible get a few more hours of sleep. The sounds of the night will be there again tomorrow night. They have become your friends. No one understands that but those who are doing the same thing in countless houses around the world.
The houses where diabetes is the new normal. The houses where parents are awake in the middle of the night. The houses where the quiet sounds of diabetes are deafening, but friendly, to only those who hear them while alone…………..waiting……..yet, again. No one else would ever understand. Knowing what we know, may they never.
I am a diabetes dad.
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