A Year from Today I will Give her Away………But I Wonder One Thing……………….

Exactly one year from today I will do something and it will be the only time I will ever do it in my life.  I will walk my daughter to the front of where those closest to us will have gathered and I will shake a young man’s hand, and I will put her arm in his…..and I will take my seat, next to her mother.

And she will be married.

The one-year countdown begins today.

I probably won’t write about that often but lately, I have thought about it a lot.  If you know anything about the journey we have been on, it started when fate/life through us one nasty, nasty curveball.  At the age of 2 (2 years, 5 months and 21 days to be exact, but who was counting) she would be diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

Our lives were shattered.

Our lives would never be the same.

Of these two statements, the first one, we decided, would be short-lived.  There was no room for ‘shattered’ in our lives.  We did not have the time, and we certainly did not have the energy, to live life as if we were a shattered pane of glass.  Shattered is just too hard to put back together again.  So we chose work over giving up or giving-in.  We chose that—-all of us; being the ‘we’.  As a family.  As one unit.  As a drive to never lay down to this disease.  We would do it together.  It would knock us….but we would move on, and move on stronger.  We would try never to stop.

And we never did.

There were so many things ahead to do in this ‘daddy’ thing.

There was silliness needed when tears came along; there was strength needed when fear came along; there were feet to stand upon when dancing was in order; there were daddy-daughter dances to go when the time was right; there were dance nights to attend when the recitals were due; there were accolades to attend when the merits were earned; there were 50 cents to give when deli pickles were bought; there were two-wheelers to do when the training wheels were off; there were Santa Claus and Easter Bunny pictures to take when the season was right; there were butterfly kisses to give and night-time prayers; there were butterfly kisses and a good night song.  There was just too much to do.

A year from today she will be walked down the aisle. We have been through a lot and we have walked together through many things her and me.  A real lot together, all of us.  And we will walk down the aisle together.  I will shake his hand and place her hand in his.  He’s a good man.  He’s a strong man.   A tear rolls down my cheek as I ask myself on this day, one year prior to her becoming his wife:  is it still okay if she always remains my little girl?
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