I find it absolutely astounding that when someone with T1D passes away…..from diabetes or something else, the questions begin about the cause as if someone has the right to know. Here is the hard truth…..you don’t. For whatever reason you think it is okay to soften; the ask, the question, or the statement…..it’s not, it’s wrong.
Because when someone loses anyone in their family for whatever the reason, it’s their situation to deal with and theirs alone. NOW HEAR ME PLEASE: If you think for one split second that you might learn anything by knowing the reason of another’s death then it is my strong suggestion that you educate yourself more for whatever the reason is that you think knowing about someone else’s death will help you.
There is just no soft way to present this but being straightforward honest about it. It was wrong years ago, it’s wrong now, and it will stay wrong tomorrow. Imagine dealing with something along these lines in your own home (God forbid) and someone asks, “I’m so sorry for your loss but is it okay to ask how they died, we are all so sorry.” The answer comes across, “Well actually they committed suicide.” Got your answer? How proud of yourself are you right now?
Get it?
Anyone certainly has the means in today’s social-media world to relay to anyone, and for that matter, everyone; if they so choose. But it’s their choice and we have no right to
ask. Be there, offer a shoulder, a meal, offer to help in any way but when it comes to the specifics surrounding the death of anyone….online is the last place anyone should be asking anything about specifics. Period.
I am a diabetes dad.
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4 replies on “Someone Dies……..it’s None of Our Business……..None. Period.”
Thank you for this. My sister (she was not T1) ended her life 2 years ago and I could write a book on the hurtful & nosy questions I was asked. My other sister (she was not T1) died of alcoholism 2 months ago. Again, the nosy & hurtful questions. People don’t know how they come across I guess, until it happens to them. Which it probably won’t. Lucky for them.
Thank you for sharing your heart and I am sorry about the pain. Bless you.
I have lost 2 children Jennifer 6 hours after her birth she passed from congenial abnormalities and my son Christopher at 18 months from meningococcus.I have a surviving 35 years old daughter Jessica who is healthy.When my children had died I blamed my type 1 diabetes for it but have now been able to let go of the guilt it wasn’t my fault.What I hate now is when people say to me oh you only have 1 child ? I think we are all just curious people and want to know.But you are so right people should think before they ask questions.
Thank you for adding to this with your heartbreaking additions…….duly noted for all of us…..what is may not be what was and an extra thought before speaking is always a GREAT remnder. Thank you for your thoughts.