death and diabetes – DiabetesDad

Where Did Everyone Go?

Posted on August 29, 2017 | by tomkarlya | 1 Comment

I still have a hard time understanding where people go after being active in diabetes causes for so long….one day…….poof, done.
“I am tired.”
“I cannot ask my friends for money anymore.”
“My kids are older now, let younger people take over.”
“I got so tired from broken promises…..it is all just a waste of time.”

BULL DINKIE.

So many times we tout that our children MUST keep at it, be vigilant, keep going no matter what. What if when they turned 23 and just said, ‘no more’. ‘I’m done.’ They can’t because they will die if they do that and do not think that they have not felt the burden of ‘doing diabetes’ 24/7.

For whatever reason you stopped…..look in the mirror and realize that it was a bad decision. No one says you have to take on the world like you used to, but no one says you should wither away and go away and do absolutely nothing either. There’s room between running the largest event in the state and doing nothing anymore. If we do not do for ourselves, ask yourself, “who will?”

We do not accept excuses from our kids, and honestly, they should not have to accept excuses from us……ever. Why is any excuse bigger than the welfare of our kids and those like them? Doing nothing will get absolutely nothing done. So ask yourself where you fall on the spectrum………and get up off your comfy chair and do something.

Now.
🙂
I am a diabetes dad.
Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

Not the Pain, but the Void………Left Behind.

Posted on August 22, 2017 | by tomkarlya | Leave a Comment

Today, I saw the date in the lower corner of my computer. August 22, 2017. I started to reach for the phone because I knew, inherently, that the date was significant. I reacted because I had not yet called my dad to wish him a happy birthday. “Oh, I gotta call……..”

But you see, I didn’t have to call, because dad is gone. Dad passed away on March 16th 2009. But at some point every August 22nd since, I have started to reach for a phone during the day. The urge to react on what I must do, is just a tad faster than the realization of what is true and what is real.

It will, undoubtedly, also happen during every baseball season as well because if it was one thing dad and I liked to discuss, it was baseball. It is not a real ‘pick up the phone and start to dial’ and realize, “oh, he is no longer here”. It’s just that quick second and the beginning of that motion and that thought. The aftermath is that you start to realize, “wow, was I really going to call dad?”

It’s a time to reflect on who we miss. Their smile. What they may have said that made us laugh; made us cry. made us angry, made you inquire as to what they meant, and made us think. And truly make us miss them beyond comprehension. So many people come and go in our lives and they are taken in an instant, or are sick, or are here one minute and gone the next but at sometime or another the void they leave behind is both realized and immeasurable.

We do not really ever accept it, do we? I was taught once……we learn to cope.

That void can be a reminder but more than anything else…….it’s just that……..a void. We can try to fill it or push it away but at some point the void reminds us that one who filled it, is no longer here to do so. Makes you want to hug someone today, doesn’t it?
I am a diabetes dad.
Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

What am I Doing Here?……..for Kycie, for Reegan……the Fight Goes On!

Posted on August 15, 2017 | by tomkarlya | 3 Comments

This is the question I asked myself as I looked at the many attendees at the American Association of Diabetes Educators (AADE) Annual Meeting who stopped in to the presentation of the incredibly knowledgeable Susan Weiner and myself at our missed diagnosis of T1D. People believe that speaking in front of a large crowd is easy for me, in reality it is not, for reason that those who are close to me understand. It is even more daunting when the audience is full of professionals. REALLY SHARP PROFESSIONALS.

The week before I was to speak I reached out to two parents who lost their child to this disease being misdiagnosed and to fill them in on what was happening. It is always a stark reminder to me that this work should not, and will not, stop for me until the paradigm is changed to a direction where each and every person showing stomach virus like symptoms (and more) are checked for elevated blood sugars.

What makes it easier for me to present is when I reflect on each and every person I have met in this battle who has a child who and is no longer here because a simple blood check was not done. I also reflect on the many people who have joined this fight, and have been in this fight, long before we have arrived where we are today…….but make no mistake; the surface is barely scratched.

Presenting at AADE allowed a very unique opportunity. Hopefully, and eventually, every state will hear the message and carry the banner. The list keeps getting longer of those who help and when it comes to AADE, Susan has been my mentor and guide through the maze of people more educated than I could ever become and true community leaders. My thanks to her are endless.

I also know I have a story to tell……..and as long as I have a breath in me, the story will continue to be told………it’s owed that much energy, and more, to Kycie, Reegan, and the so many more who can no longer fight for themselves. Are you still in the fight? Because we surely need everyone willing to spread the word. Let’s not wait for the next Kycie or Reegan to happen to say, ‘this is horrible’. Let’s get rid of ‘horrible’.
I am a diabetes dad.
Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

Someone Dies……..it’s None of Our Business……..None. Period.

Posted on July 28, 2017 | by tomkarlya | 4 Comments

I find it absolutely astounding that when someone with T1D passes away…..from diabetes or something else, the questions begin about the cause as if someone has the right to know. Here is the hard truth…..you don’t. For whatever reason you think it is okay to soften; the ask, the question, or the statement…..it’s not, it’s wrong.

Because when someone loses anyone in their family for whatever the reason, it’s their situation to deal with and theirs alone. NOW HEAR ME PLEASE: If you think for one split second that you might learn anything by knowing the reason of another’s death then it is my strong suggestion that you educate yourself more for whatever the reason is that you think knowing about someone else’s death will help you.

There is just no soft way to present this but being straightforward honest about it. It was wrong years ago, it’s wrong now, and it will stay wrong tomorrow. Imagine dealing with something along these lines in your own home (God forbid) and someone asks, “I’m so sorry for your loss but is it okay to ask how they died, we are all so sorry.” The answer comes across, “Well actually they committed suicide.” Got your answer? How proud of yourself are you right now?

Get it?

Anyone certainly has the means in today’s social-media world to relay to anyone, and for that matter, everyone; if they so choose. But it’s their choice and we have no right to
ask. Be there, offer a shoulder, a meal, offer to help in any way but when it comes to the specifics surrounding the death of anyone….online is the last place anyone should be asking anything about specifics. Period.

I am a diabetes dad.
Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.