There are so many people who interact with people with diabetes. They have friends, relatives, and at some point a boyfriend and/or girlfriend. I have always found myself looking to see what the people around my kids do, regarding their diabetes. Will it be that the role of us, “the diabetes police'” is something that we want and/or need to transfer over to the person our kids are dating.
What are the conversations they have? Our kids cannot, really, set the parameters on how we deal with their diabetes. If we were there from the onset, we felt the responsibility to make sure they live as healthy a life as possible and that means….well….sometimes we become a ‘pain the butt’. And that was just the way it was, but those rules change when we are not around.
In a relationship, do PWD immediately put ‘that’ to an end and ‘kabash it’, or do they allow it. If the boyfriend or the girlfriend say, “did you check your blood sugar”……do they immediately say, “don’t start that, you are not my parents”.
How does it work in a relationship? Is diabetes concern OFF limits?” Is it the elephant in the room that no one talks about. Do my kids NOT TALK about it while in a relationship?
Do we, as parents, have the right to enlist a boyfriend or girlfriend that THEY NEED to look after our child? Today I ask people with diabetes who are older and have been through the dating scene, when you started dating what role did that person have in your diabetes? What did you want them to do? What did you allow them to do, if anything? Parents, what do you think you have the right to say and/or do?
I seek your candor.
A discussion please and so everyone can see it…please answer as a reply to this post and not just on the FB page where you see this. Thanks.
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8 replies on “PWDs & Parents!!! Your Input Please….The Role of Girl/Boyfriends?”
My son is 16 and is dating a girl who is 18. She knew from the start that he has Type 1. After a couple of months he started explaining it at a high level. They are almost at a year now. She knows what to look for, but does not nag him. However, we are about to have the training with her (and refresher for the family) on glucagon and emergencies. He feels it would not be fair to her or his friends if there is an emergency and they are clueless as to what to do. It would be a little traumatic I think to not know how to help.
Much wisdom in those teen-agers’ point of view……thank you for your candor.
As a person living with diabetes, I don’t think that diabetes is an off topic disscusion. Somedays yes it is but others it not. I would rather have my friends and coworkers know about it, because what if something was to happen to me where I couldn’t communicate (ie: a low BG that has made me unconscious) most of the time our “diabetes police” people are only being a pain because they care, but then they just have to realize that we(the person dxd with it) will have thouse bad days were it is off topic and the diabetes police need to just step back a bit, a take a different role.
Thank you so much for giving us a ‘firstperson’ view—it is greatly appreciated.
My daughter, 15 hasn’t had a serious boyfriend yet. It took her almost 6 months to tell her closest friends, so I imagine it would take a little while for her to share. She is terrified that she is going to “scare off” a potential bf. I try to make diabetes part of the every day conversation, like “pass the sugar”, but she certainly doesn’t see it that way. In the end, I will respect her need for privacy, as long as her safety isn’t in jeopardy.
Thank you for your comment……’respect for privacy’ is such a BIG DEAL. Thank you again for sharing.
We definitely enlist. of course, it doesn’t take them long to figure out that “feeling low” means he gets a bit of extra time to hang out. 🙂 His group of friends includes lots of girls and the ones he’s known since preschool are quite helpful.
Friends are as crucial as family members at times. Thanks.