Survey said I asked a simple question which was:
Do you feel you get enough support from your partner? If not, what one thing can they do to up their game?

Below I have listed just some of the answers.  If you find this laying around somewhere—it may be for a reason.  Do not get angry, do not get upset, open up and listen.  Diabetes is not easy for anyone; most of all your child.  If you see any comment that might be meant for you; it is not meant to ‘slam you’, try doing something about it for your child’s sake. (Also know that all responses were anonymous).

Here are the responses and I edited them a bit to keep them gender-neutral; that way they can apply in many instances. 

This is what your child’s ‘other parent’ had to say:

I am nervous every time I leave our child in your care overnight without me

Why aren’t you willing to learn, after so many years, even the simplest things about caring for our daughter’s diabetes?

What would you do if something happened to me and you had to take over the care of our child completely?

Thank you for trusting me to manage our son’s diabetes care. I know how much you care about his health, and that you will do whatever it takes to keep him safe, but some jobs require one manager with some support staff!

How can you not be involved in your son’s care…

These nighttime checks aren’t a matter of you not wanting to wake up, so you shut off your alarm and ignore it. These nighttime checks are a matter of life and death for our sweet child who didn’t ask for any of this.

Please offer to take over care for a week to give me a break and to really learn how to take care of your son. Wouldn’t you feel better knowing that you would be able to take care of your son if something happened to me? Or do you not think about that? I worry about it.

I wish you would help out with the night checks. I am exhausted most of the time and could use a break.

I would really appreciate it if you did 12am & 3am checks at least twice a week so I can get some sleep.

I appreciate that you are trying, but I wish you would learn more about this monster and how we are dealing with it. Showing up at the Endo appointment 4 times a year is really not enough. You’ll feel more included if you put the time in, AND our child will have the benefit of two great minds helping control T1D. 

Please support our child to look after his diabetes when visiting with you. I know as an absent parent you cannot understand the complexities of this condition and I do not expect you to be an expert. Please know that our child knows quite a lot about D, so please talk about it. I know that you don’t want to be ‘told what to do’ by your ex, but this is about keeping our child safe & healthy so please listen. Please phone me if you need any help whilst our child is with you. Please accept that they know more about this than you do and don’t overrule; ask questions and learn.

I wish you would check sugars or give a shot more than once a month!

Please treat us as a team — while I look after our child during the day & usually calculate carbs, I need your help. I don’t need lectures or ‘oops I forgot to ask to test because I was tired’ moments, and neither does our child.

It IS a big deal, it is a life and death deal !!!! Pay attention, and BE the parent.

If you notice supplies are getting low, don’t just tell me, do something about it.

Please try to be aware of what has gone on all day and be patient if your clothes aren’t clean, dishes aren’t washed, and the floors are sticky. If I’ve had a rough day caring for our child, just give me a hug.

Why don’t you take this seriously?

I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.


Some Things Occur that are not Unique to Just our Diabetes Community…….Food for Thought.

UniqueTwo events occurred within the last 24 hours that made me take notice.  Judy Martin was found dead in her home; Aaron Rodgers received an award.  Now you may think these two events have nothing to do with diabetes and on the surface they surely do not; but the aftermath very well might.

Ms. Martin was a beloved news anchor here for our local News 12 television station and when her death was reported with the cause yet to be determined, well the social media pages were flooded with people asking why, as well as sending condolences.  People wanted details and people were trying to find out exactly the cause of death ….sound familiar?  As I was reading the posts of her death, I just kept thinking how many times I have read of someone dying in our diabetes community and the posts that follow in social media.

Now I fully understand that parents asking about a death of a child surely has a direct reason to their own lives.  Almost as if to make sure they are doing everything possible making sure their child might be faced with a same fate.  Clearly the reasons for asking are different, but the ask is happening just the same.  People want to know why.  They want to know details.  They are saddened.  Sound familiar?

Aaron Rodgers received the Bart Starr Award this week.  Now surely that has nothing to do with diabetes either but my thoughts notwithstanding went again to the diabetes community for this reason: we are constantly asking, and/or stating that diabetes needs to be in the news more often.  Why was not this fund-raising event covered and/or why was not that conference covered?   Here you have a truly great quarterback receiving an incredible award, with an event attended by a god deal of football players, and it was barely a ‘blip’ in the news.  Sound familiar?

My point in these far-reaching stretches to make a point is simply this; the diabetes community is not so unique in the things we seek and the things that happened are not so unique to only us.  Other things happen to other people and other organizations that are truly parallel to what we see every day.  It was just a thought I had.

Yes we do want more coverage in the media about diabetes and so do others who have an agenda, although different,  as we do.  Yes when someone passes away, people DO want to know details, as we do..

Sometimes we should realize that it’s a big world out there with so much happening and our wants/wishes/desires, as big as they may seem to us, may not be as unique as we think they are.

I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

A Bee Gee, and an Incredible Moment which I will Never Forget.

Tom Barry Love and HopeHe is a superstar.  A mega star.  A golden voice, an incredible writer, and a friend fo the Diabetes Research Institute.  He will be performing this year, which he does from time to time, at our Love and Hope Ball next month.

He is getting ready to tour.  He was on Saturday Night live recently.  He is making the circles around the talk show circuit.  He mentions the DRI when he can.  He and his wife, Linda, believe in the mission of the DRI.  He was very close to Marty Kleiman, one of the founding families of the building which stands as a beacon of hope for all of us waiting for a cure of this dreaded disease.

I did not know Marty, I have been told he had incredible drive, a wonderful sense of humor, and the ability to make anyone feel comfortable when he was in a room.  He lost his battle to cancer and his family’s efforts are surely engrained in the fiber and heart of the DRI even today.  His son, and my colleague, Gary is one of the most knowledgeable people I know in the research world—he IS THE go-to person when something comes across my path of which I had not heard about.  Gary has had diabetes for a long, long time.  Yet he still has such a high hopes for a cure.

Some have become cynical about the cure, and that is surely their right.  I know so many have heard of ‘this cure’ for so many years that they have become jaded.  Some have just resigned themselves to the fact that if it comes great, but breathes will not be held waiting for it.  The promise broken too often.  It certainly is understandable.  But I cannot be that way.  Seems, neither can Gary.  Neither can so many more.  There is a reason we believe in the DRI even though so many of us have come from so many different walks of life in our diabetes journey.

It is not only what I have seen myself,  but when I see the DRI through the eyes of so many people who; ask the tough questions, who get involved because they too believe, have toured the building, who understand the science and say, “…the DRI gets it…..”, and so many who lend their talents, their money, and in cases like Barry Gibb; even their well-known and good name to the place that means so much to so many, that continues to inspire me.  Why would they be involved unless this place was so special?  Why would I? 
Many well-known people have inspired me with their incredible work to no end but it was a chance meeting two years ago that also showed me an incredible compassion as well.  Barry’s brother, Robin, was so very ill with cancer.  At the same time, my brother-in-law was also extremely ill with cancer.  Within months of our meeting, both of our loved ones would lose that painful battle.

Through a series of twists and turns, we ended up together back stage.  We talked about the brilliant concert he had just given at the DRI’s Love and Hope Ball.  I thanked him for giving such a great concert.  I said I knew a lot was going in his life and I appreciated his support for all of our kids with diabetes, even though his own family’s health battles were well-known.  He informed how grateful he was to once again be with us.  He also shared that he was surely concerned about his brother and I told him about my brother-in-law, Joel.  We talked a little bit about what we each were going through; and that will stay between he and I.

At the end of the conversation I thanked him, and we hugged.

Yes, hugged.

I have found that for most people, no matter their status in life, the connection of an incredibly shared human moment is something that transcends everything else……even if it just happens to be with one of the greatest icons in music history.

I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

A Cure……..Would any Trophy Ever be Big Enough?

Tom NBA TrophyIt is the biggest trophy in all of the NBA.  It’s sterling silver with a 24 karat gold overlay.  It weighs approximately 14.5 pounds and the ball is almost the same size as a regulation basketball.  Each year the award is created for the winner of the NBA Championship by Tiffany and Company.

In the USA, it is the highest award there is in all of basketball.  It is called the Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy.  Last year’s winner was the Miami Heat, and in fact, they have won it three times. 

I had the honor this week to work with many from that championship team and two very special families.  An event to raise funds for the DRI and the JDRF and an event for the opportunity to help people understand more.

What is most impressive about the Allen and Holtz families, who chaired this event, is their drive to make a difference.  Hundreds of thousands of dollars was raised including a $75,000 custom-made watch along with a pair of sneakers worn in a special championship series by special player which was auctioned.

Tom Sara LebronThe highlight of day for me was not what one might think.  It was impressive to meet some very big names in the NBA, it was impressive to see so many wonderful people doing so much, it was incredible to meet comedian/actor/writer, Chris Spencer, it was an incredible financial success, but it was meeting Ray and Shannon’s son Walker and Javier and Andria Holtz’s son Andrew that highlighted why today was so special.  These two fine young men are the ones dealing with diabetes every day.

Ray Allen makes it very clear that his focus is to want a cure for diabetes. 
Tom and Ray golfAs a fellow d-dad, I believe his sincerity one thousand percent.  He, and his family, are on a mission.  They have made a huge difference thus far, they will continue that trend.  As a d-day I am happy they are involved as much as they choose to be.

When Andrew Holtz spoke at the dinner, the entire crowd was moved.  It was a speech of hope.  It was a speech of being in a room full of heroes.  And to Andrew, it was more than his basketball heroes who came to the event, it was the heroes who came to help in a cause that The Allen Family and The Holtz families believe in.  It was a speech not to tell everyone how tough his life is (which we all know too well what Andrew must deal with) but, rather, how full his life is and how much he wants to see a cure for diabetes.  Being managed is not being cured.

A cure………..all the silver and all the gold in the world could not make a trophy ‘good enough’ to represent what that would look like; but then again, Walker and Andrew and all those we know and love who live with diabetes walking around WITHOUT diabetes…..who would ever need a trophy for that anyway?

I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

A Quick Clip Regarding Justin Bieber that will Leave You Scratching Your Head!


If you want to get to a root (not ‘THE’ root—just ‘A’ root) problem with the priorities in today’s world, all you would need to do is watch this clip (click the picture above).  Or is it more of just a statement on what the media thinks of our elected officials?

A Congresswoman……A UNITED STATES CONGRESSWOMAN is being interviewed on MSNBC when the reporter works emphatically to interrupt her for a breaking story.  Watch the less-than-30 seconds-clip and let me know if I have this wrong?  

Well we now know where elected officials sit with our media…….don’t we?


I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

I am NO FAN of Winter……But Not for the Reason you May Think!!!!!

Die winter dieFor the record…..I’m not a fan of winter.  On our wall in our den is a family photo where we all look like we were spending the weekend with my dear friend Moira, and her family, somewhere in ski country USA.  The picture looks like we are out of central casting for snow bunnies.  The truth is; on the day the photo was taken; out of the five of us, the only one who had the slightest pleasure skiing was Kaitlyn.

Rob and TJ traded in their skis to go tubing, and we watched from the warm insides of the beautiful lodge with those gorgeous roaring fires and a lot of hot chocolate. 

Nope;  Me + snow = disaster.  (+ skis = double disaster; albeit a lot of humor to watch).

I envy Moira’s writings of how she and her family are ‘whoooosihing’ down the slopes and having such a grand time.  I have another friend who also loves the snow and cold and her son will have a good shot for the Olympics someday as a down hill racer. 

Me? Nope; could not even stand on the things.

So in the last go round with mega snow and us digging out, my attention was drawn away from all of us working to dig out the cars and clean the area around our home, my thought was with/on our kids.

Sometimes I get so frustrated that almost every single thing we do, diabetes has to somehow be involved.  Shoveling snow……really?  Well, yes because you see shoveling snow is a workout and severe workout at that.  If you ever want to see blood sugar plummet downward at an amazing speed; just shovel snow.

So in addition to all of the work that has to be done to clear snow away, we also have to keep that ever watchful eye on our kids.

And it makes me angry—–snow and diabetes…..seriously?  Does everything have to include diabetes?  It does not deserve all the attention that it gets….does it?

I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.