Tag: Diabetes parenting blog by diabetesdad

 I asked a simple question which was:
Do you feel you get enough support from your partner? If not, what one thing can they do to up their game?

Below I have listed just some of the answers.  If you find this laying around somewhere—it may be for a reason.  Do not get angry, do not get upset, open up and listen.  Diabetes is not easy for anyone; most of all your child.  If you see any comment that might be meant for you; it is not meant to ‘slam you’, try doing something about it for your child’s sake. (Also know that all responses were anonymous).

Here are the responses and I edited them a bit to keep them gender-neutral; that way they can apply in many instances. 

This is what your child’s ‘other parent’ had to say:

I am nervous every time I leave our child in your care overnight without me

Why aren’t you willing to learn, after so many years, even the simplest things about caring for our daughter’s diabetes?

What would you do if something happened to me and you had to take over the care of our child completely?

Thank you for trusting me to manage our son’s diabetes care. I know how much you care about his health, and that you will do whatever it takes to keep him safe, but some jobs require one manager with some support staff!

How can you not be involved in your son’s care…

These nighttime checks aren’t a matter of you not wanting to wake up, so you shut off your alarm and ignore it. These nighttime checks are a matter of life and death for our sweet child who didn’t ask for any of this.

Please offer to take over care for a week to give me a break and to really learn how to take care of your son. Wouldn’t you feel better knowing that you would be able to take care of your son if something happened to me? Or do you not think about that? I worry about it.

I wish you would help out with the night checks. I am exhausted most of the time and could use a break.

I would really appreciate it if you did 12am & 3am checks at least twice a week so I can get some sleep.

I appreciate that you are trying, but I wish you would learn more about this monster and how we are dealing with it. Showing up at the Endo appointment 4 times a year is really not enough. You’ll feel more included if you put the time in, AND our child will have the benefit of two great minds helping control T1D. 

Please support our child to look after his diabetes when visiting with you. I know as an absent parent you cannot understand the complexities of this condition and I do not expect you to be an expert. Please know that our child knows quite a lot about D, so please talk about it. I know that you don’t want to be ‘told what to do’ by your ex, but this is about keeping our child safe & healthy so please listen. Please phone me if you need any help whilst our child is with you. Please accept that they know more about this than you do and don’t overrule; ask questions and learn.

I wish you would check sugars or give a shot more than once a month!

Please treat us as a team — while I look after our child during the day & usually calculate carbs, I need your help. I don’t need lectures or ‘oops I forgot to ask to test because I was tired’ moments, and neither does our child.

It IS a big deal, it is a life and death deal !!!! Pay attention, and BE the parent.

If you notice supplies are getting low, don’t just tell me, do something about it.

Please try to be aware of what has gone on all day and be patient if your clothes aren’t clean, dishes aren’t washed, and the floors are sticky. If I’ve had a rough day caring for our child, just give me a hug.

Why don’t you take this seriously?

I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

Two events occurred within the last 24 hours that made me take notice.  Judy Martin was found dead in her home; Aaron Rodgers received an award.  Now you may think these two events have nothing to do with diabetes and on the surface they surely do not; but the aftermath very well might.

Ms. Martin was a beloved news anchor here for our local News 12 television station and when her death was reported with the cause yet to be determined, well the social media pages were flooded with people asking why, as well as sending condolences.  People wanted details and people were trying to find out exactly the cause of death ….sound familiar?  As I was reading the posts of her death, I just kept thinking how many times I have read of someone dying in our diabetes community and the posts that follow in social media.

Now I fully understand that parents asking about a death of a child surely has a direct reason to their own lives.  Almost as if to make sure they are doing everything possible making sure their child might be faced with a same fate.  Clearly the reasons for asking are different, but the ask is happening just the same.  People want to know why.  They want to know details.  They are saddened.  Sound familiar?

Aaron Rodgers received the Bart Starr Award this week.  Now surely that has nothing to do with diabetes either but my thoughts notwithstanding went again to the diabetes community for this reason: we are constantly asking, and/or stating that diabetes needs to be in the news more often.  Why was not this fund-raising event covered and/or why was not that conference covered?   Here you have a truly great quarterback receiving an incredible award, with an event attended by a god deal of football players, and it was barely a ‘blip’ in the news.  Sound familiar?

My point in these far-reaching stretches to make a point is simply this; the diabetes community is not so unique in the things we seek and the things that happened are not so unique to only us.  Other things happen to other people and other organizations that are truly parallel to what we see every day.  It was just a thought I had.

Yes we do want more coverage in the media about diabetes and so do others who have an agenda, although different,  as we do.  Yes when someone passes away, people DO want to know details, as we do..

Sometimes we should realize that it’s a big world out there with so much happening and our wants/wishes/desires, as big as they may seem to us, may not be as unique as we think they are.

I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

It is the biggest trophy in all of the NBA.  It’s sterling silver with a 24 karat gold overlay.  It weighs approximately 14.5 pounds and the ball is almost the same size as a regulation basketball.  Each year the award is created for the winner of the NBA Championship by Tiffany and Company.

In the USA, it is the highest award there is in all of basketball.  It is called the Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy.  Last year’s winner was the Miami Heat, and in fact, they have won it three times. 

I had the honor this week to work with many from that championship team and two very special families.  An event to raise funds for the DRI and the JDRF and an event for the opportunity to help people understand more.

What is most impressive about the Allen and Holtz families, who chaired this event, is their drive to make a difference.  Hundreds of thousands of dollars was raised including a $75,000 custom-made watch along with a pair of sneakers worn in a special championship series by special player which was auctioned.

The highlight of day for me was not what one might think.  It was impressive to meet some very big names in the NBA, it was impressive to see so many wonderful people doing so much, it was incredible to meet comedian/actor/writer, Chris Spencer, it was an incredible financial success, but it was meeting Ray and Shannon’s son Walker and Javier and Andria Holtz’s son Andrew that highlighted why today was so special.  These two fine young men are the ones dealing with diabetes every day.

Ray Allen makes it very clear that his focus is to want a cure for diabetes. 
As a fellow d-dad, I believe his sincerity one thousand percent.  He, and his family, are on a mission.  They have made a huge difference thus far, they will continue that trend.  As a d-day I am happy they are involved as much as they choose to be.

When Andrew Holtz spoke at the dinner, the entire crowd was moved.  It was a speech of hope.  It was a speech of being in a room full of heroes.  And to Andrew, it was more than his basketball heroes who came to the event, it was the heroes who came to help in a cause that The Allen Family and The Holtz families believe in.  It was a speech not to tell everyone how tough his life is (which we all know too well what Andrew must deal with) but, rather, how full his life is and how much he wants to see a cure for diabetes.  Being managed is not being cured.

A cure………..all the silver and all the gold in the world could not make a trophy ‘good enough’ to represent what that would look like; but then again, Walker and Andrew and all those we know and love who live with diabetes walking around WITHOUT diabetes…..who would ever need a trophy for that anyway?

I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.