There will come a time, if it has not already, that you (or you as you speak with those you love who have diabetes) will have to come to grips with the reality of the world. I have two confessions to make. I am not proud of these two confessions but I’m not apologizing for them either.
I’m sharing them with you because at some time you also will have to make the same decision I had and whether you do or you don’t will surely be your call. But it is a lonely call.
When it comes to dating I absolutely would not and will not advise my children when to tell their dates about their diabetes. It is their call and all of the different angles to look at this discussion will be up to them.
Where I have advised has been in two areas. Their road test and while interviewing for a job. The world can be very cruel on judgements and I did not want them to fall for a stereo-type as they sat down for their road test to be given a license. I simply suggested to wear a loose shirt and cover their pump.
While interviewing for a job I advised them to never lie but do not offer up that they have diabetes. And ABSOLUTELY NEVER lie on a written document. No matter how strong our kids are, no matter how much they have achieved in their life with diabetes; the person interviewing sees lost work days and special arrangements and if there are four great candidates; the ‘perception’ would win out in any interviewer’s mind.
To be clear; I’m well aware of the laws governing hiring and firing of individuals but when it comes to hiring, it is virtually impossible to actually PROVE discrimination. Now my kids have always proved themselves to be great workers and their track record for advancement proves my point.
As I stated, I am not proud of this fact. I have always told them to be proud of who they are; but I always also felt I needed to at least let them be aware and let them make the call. I do this for you as well.
I would be extremely interested to hear what you have to add to this discussion. I know that one side of the discussion is to let the employer know up front so they don’t feel that the candidate did not disclose all during the interview process; I also know the side that thinks if the employer would not hire them if they knew, one probably would not want to work there anyway. I understand these discussions.
But when it comes to reality……..really wanting a job; what is the right call. There are many, many people who could gain from the wisdom of others here. So please share and let others know your point of view.
I am a diabetes dad.
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