There will come a time, if it has not already, that you (or you as you speak with those you love who have diabetes) will have to come to grips with the reality of the world. I have two confessions to make. I am not proud of these two confessions but I’m not apologizing for them either.
I’m sharing them with you because at some time you also will have to make the same decision I had and whether you do or you don’t will surely be your call. But it is a lonely call.
When it comes to dating I absolutely would not and will not advise my children when to tell their dates about their diabetes. It is their call and all of the different angles to look at this discussion will be up to them.
Where I have advised has been in two areas. Their road test and while interviewing for a job. The world can be very cruel on judgements and I did not want them to fall for a stereo-type as they sat down for their road test to be given a license. I simply suggested to wear a loose shirt and cover their pump.
While interviewing for a job I advised them to never lie but do not offer up that they have diabetes. And ABSOLUTELY NEVER lie on a written document. No matter how strong our kids are, no matter how much they have achieved in their life with diabetes; the person interviewing sees lost work days and special arrangements and if there are four great candidates; the ‘perception’ would win out in any interviewer’s mind.
To be clear; I’m well aware of the laws governing hiring and firing of individuals but when it comes to hiring, it is virtually impossible to actually PROVE discrimination. Now my kids have always proved themselves to be great workers and their track record for advancement proves my point.
As I stated, I am not proud of this fact. I have always told them to be proud of who they are; but I always also felt I needed to at least let them be aware and let them make the call. I do this for you as well.
I would be extremely interested to hear what you have to add to this discussion. I know that one side of the discussion is to let the employer know up front so they don’t feel that the candidate did not disclose all during the interview process; I also know the side that thinks if the employer would not hire them if they knew, one probably would not want to work there anyway. I understand these discussions.
But when it comes to reality……..really wanting a job; what is the right call. There are many, many people who could gain from the wisdom of others here. So please share and let others know your point of view.
I am a diabetes dad.
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5 replies on “Job Interview: Never Offer ‘IT’ Up. I TRULY Seek Input from Others; Teach Us what to Advise Our Kids.”
I always wonder about the interview process. I have been hesitant to post things on my Facebook page about my young daughter n her T1. I know companies do web searches on candidates. It is years away but FB lasts forever. Am I paranoid??
Paranoid?????? No. Cautious; absolutely, as you should be. When in doubt, throw it out; as my brother used to say. It is always your call what to put out there……….or not. 🙂
Thanks for writing.
The world is so full of misinformation and paranoia about every little thing that I don’t think you need to stack the deck against yourself. I’m fairly certain it is not legal for a potential employer to ask (unless there is a physical aspect to the job which one’s disability or physical condition literally stops them from doing) nor to respond to in a negative or partial way if they find out after hiring someone. I would never disclose this during an interview and I don’t think that is hiding anything. As you say, Tom, you will find it very hard to prove discrimination in hiring (or not hiring.) I’m scratching my head trying to figure out what job would ask you to disclose this on an application in hiring. If the question is, “Do you have any health condition that would prevent you from performing the duties of this job?” I would just answer, “No.”
Thank you for your thoughts Sharon—-they are much appreciated.
I don’t bring it up. In fact, I put my pump in my pocket (instead of on my belt) and silence all of the CGM alerts. If lunch is offered as part of the interview process, I excuse myself to the restroom to test or take insulin, something that I normally (and passionately) discourage. A big reason that I don’t use my full last-name in the online community is because of the employer Google-ability factor (although a recent article did feature me by my full name). If it comes down to me and another candidate, and all other things are equal, I don’t want the other person’s non-diabetes to give them the edge.
Of course, as I aspire someday to shift my career towards something that is diabetes-related, I want to get a little more well-known. So it’s a bit of a mixed message as to what I should do.