NEWSBREAK: When A Child Dies, Yes it’s Okay to Question……..Yet Again.

Blue CandlesIt seems to be, reading the posts all over social media, that a young lady, another one too young, has passed away.  From what I am reading, it seems there was a ‘kink’ in her pump tubing and insulin was being denied entry into the body.  Her blood sugar rose, she entered DKA and at 21, we have lost another precious life.

There’s much discussions occurring within our community and I just felt like I needed to drop a line for thought, perhaps a dialogue or two as well.  It’s, of course, just so sad. unfortunately in our journey, we have faced this situation too often for comfort.   We begin to ask ourselves……….well……….all sorts of questions.  What we really want to know is, however, “how do I make sure this does not happen to us”?

I wish I could wave a wand and make that ‘pit’ in your stomach go away…….but I cannot.    Years ago, we lost a relative to our family.  Absolutely tragic circumstances.  I realized as I asked myself the same questions over and over and over and over again, that what happened, as tragic as it was, could only be avoided if we lived in a bubble.  Could only have been avoided if we and touched no one and no one touched us; and/or we spend every waking moment hovering over every breath our children take.

It was a horrible situation.  And a lot of ‘what ifs’ and ‘what abouts’.  We cannot live in a bubble and we cannot ask our children to either.  I have stated that there could come a time that anyone I love can be taken; we would have no control over that although we would like to think we do—–or we could.  But in truth, we do not.  I’m sure the family of that beautiful young lady will ask themselves forever…”…..if only I…….”  I cannot take that feeling away from them, and nothing anyone can say will make them lose that feeling. As my friend Michelle taught me, “….we do not accept, we learn to cope……”  And she would know, she lost her son, also way too early.

I have stated many times before, if anything happens to any of my children, diabetes related or not, I MUST BE ABLE to look myself in the mirror and ask that man in the mirror if he did all he could?  If I cannot answer yes, then I need to work harder at whatever I feel I must.  If something happens and I can answer yes, as Michelle taught me, I must settle for coping, broken heart and all.

So ask yourself if you are doing what is right for your child?  Do not necessarily think you have to change everything all around because of something that has happened to someone else.  Would we take the car keys away because the car malfunctioned for someone else causing serious harm?  Do we stop flying even though major malfunctions have cause planes to drop from the sky?

What we do is we ask ourselves, “am I doing what is right”?  It’s ALWAYS and in all ways okay to run a check list when we hear of a tragedy.   Run the checklist and if you feel okay about everything, try to move forward.  If you doubt, seek until you find the answers—-not the answers you may be told by just others but by finding out the answers until you are confident on the answers. It’s also okay to count our blessings that it did not happen to us.

Yes, it’s okay to question.  It’s also okay to say a prayer, or have a private thought, for someone who has undergone something we can only imagine; and only hope we may never know.  It’s ‘just’ diabetes, right?   The world has no idea……..like we do.  SIGH!
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3 thoughts on “NEWSBREAK: When A Child Dies, Yes it’s Okay to Question……..Yet Again.

  1. Sadly she is the second I heard of this week. Not a good day for use as paramedics had to come again today to save my sweet girl. I hate this so much right now.

  2. Unfortunately, this has started into a not-so-nice discussion on my fb page. D-moms saying why they check and another saying I posted the share this to “scare” D moms to checking at night. It is truly an individual family’s choice. For us, my son was 18 months old when diagnosed, Stanford and UCSF told me to check and I have never stopped. I find the weirdest numbers sometimes at that 3 am be-witching hour. I would never tell a D mom to do anything I do, but it seems to strike a cord when you post about one of the kids that didn’t make it… why can’t we all just get along? It’s tough enough having a young child with diabetes…

    • I cannot agree more. This was not an article of someone passing away as much as it was to let parents know that it is “okay” to question, at times, where we are and what we do—–a SELF-check. But with this news there was a frenetic sense of feeling that one HAS TO DO something overly different. We don’t, if…..and I mean a BIG IF….the proper homework has been done to determine what is right for each of us, as parents, to make decisions based on sound knowledge and not merely hearsay. I also have learned that I cannot control a person’s feelings or a conversation thread. But I will share with you that the number of people who really appreciated the article outweigh, FAR OUTWEIGH, those who pulled ‘negative’ out of it.
      I write about a wide variety of things and for the life of me, I cannot figure out why it is that anything having to do with diabetes in any negative light garners the most amount of response. And yet, when I write about someone with diabetes being a hero for doing something cool, it gets such little reaction. But I will continue as I have, and writing when I think it will help people and when it might inspire them. I can only write as I feel, after that I hope it opens a dialogue for others. I cannot be irresponsible in what I write but my intention is to always share something I have been through, inspired, learned; in the hope others may find something worth while. I have no advertisers on my site and my only purpose is to connect this community as whole. Thank you for sharing.

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