Is that what you said when the day ended yesterday. If Easter is a holiday in your house; did you find your self saying last night, “WHEW!!!!–another holiday and relatives done; with diabetes? Thank goodness.” Did you say that?
I remember clearly that holidays used to always add that added stress which was twofold. 1. Watching everything and anything that was within grasp tat would be/could be eaten. 2. What would someone say that would just make me cringe and grab the chair with my fingernails? Being shown another article about what we had done wrong. Another cure in spices found in China. Another conversation asking if Kaitlyn was any closer to ‘growing out of’ diabetes.
So what changed? We learned over the years that most questions (emphasis on MOST) came out of genuine concern, and/or caring. Sometimes you have to look beyond the words and understand the meaning. In many cases, I have learned in the 21+ years we have been to parties, family gatherings, and get-togethers that whatever is said is said in concern and/or the nervousness of not knowing what to say. In most cases it falls into these two categories.
Once this is understood, we were better off and so will you. Even if it is said a hundred times and you answer the same way a hundred times, I have found, it is concern or just not knowing what to say. Hard to believe but I have found it to be true.
I could be wrong. But in our circumstance, I was not.
Here is the exciting part, now the ball is in your court. You are the one who can decide how the statements impact you. You know it is coming, it comes in every gathering. I decided to not answer the same way…….but answer the same way. When asked, “Will she grow out of it?”—-for the millionth time if I just got angry and stated ‘no’; I decided to try changing it up. “Let me answer your question with a question, do you think she will grow out of it?”
I said this in a perfect conversational mode and the answers were bountiful, but each time it resulted in more of an education than me just answering ‘no’. I also knew that the conversation should not be a long one and it wasn’t. In almost every case I was not asked again. It worked.
So instead of answering; “…….unlike you; where there is a cure for stupid…..”, (which I wanted to do AND often) I found a better way to answer.
There are so many family gatherings and get togethers and I just did not want to go through ANOTHER ONE where my stomach did flip-flops until the time I left. Now this article today will not all of a sudden make it better for you; but start trying a few things instead of just getting angry next time you are together with family.
We live with enough day-to-day stress living with diabetes………visiting family SHOULD NOT be one of them. Try it in the future and let me know; and if YOU DO SOMETHING NOW please share your helpful hint as well.
And if there is THAT in-law who IS JUST BEING MEAN; well ‘bop’ them in the nose to get your point across. That will add more stress but you’ll feel better in the short-term.
I am a diabetes dad.
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