When You Need Help…..Who Helps You?

As I read various posts, I rarely see or hear about what a spouse/partner does in the management of a child’s diabetes. 

Let’s face it, sometimes you want to pull your hair out trying to find help but who DOES help you when you need it?

I write often and at her request, I mention Jill rarely in my writings, but let there be no mistake about it; my kids are alive today because of the amount of work their mother puts into this world of diabetes.

Back when Kaitlyn was first diagnosed and we discussed and decided that I would be the one to work and Jill would leave her job to care for Kaitlyn; we had a great foundation for which to move forward. 

We discussed and agreed.

I did not know it at the time but the fact that we discussed, and it was not just ‘assumed’ who-would-do-what, began a healthy foundation for much of the care for our kids.  Now I’m not saying there were not challenges, any marriage has challenges, but when it came to the care of our kids we learned that discussions needed to be crucial for us to understand our roles and also the role of diabetes in our new normal.

There was a mutual respect for the fact that I knew Jill had it no easier than I, and in fact, probably tougher.  It takes a lot to jab your child a million times and watch every step they take at home, at school, and in life.  No one I know is better at this, than Jill.  When I could, I would take the kids and try to get her some space, but her efforts were herculean since day one.

It was difficult to work 16 hour days seven days a week for as long as I did but somehow we made it work.  On many occasions I would come home and find that Jill fell asleep with all sorts of diabetes information all around her.  It was never enough to ‘just do’, it was always about educating ourselves on what was new.

As many of you know, there is a look that glazes over our kids when a hypo/hyper creeps into their active lives; Jill could, and still can, spot it a mile away.  She still reads up on what is new and what is coming and shares that with Kaitlyn (and now Rob also).

I have always stated that I have it easy compared to all that she has done and continues to do.  I know that many ‘go it alone’ and you have tremendous respect from those who know what you are up against.  Hopefully everyone has at least one person to help even if a spouse/partner is no longer present.   Who do you turn to when you need a break or  to those who have help, kindly share how you ‘divide up’ the day-to-day management of diabetes in your household.

I am a diabetes dad.

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