Having More than One Child with Diabetes………..A Blessing????? Really?????

Siblings 2013I would give anything not to have diabetes in our household.

When Kaitlyn was diagnosed at age 2, we were devastated.  And when Rob was diagnosed at age 13 in 2009; we were just devastated again.  Why would this happen again?  How could this happen again?

But I have noticed something in our household.

As a parent. whether we get through to our kids or not is always a crap-shoot.  That would go for just being a parent whether diabetes is present or not.  There is a blessing (of sorts) when you have more than one child with diabetes.  There is an immediate support system that cannot be matched anywhere else.

Kaitlyn says things to Rob that we would and could never say.  I have stated hundreds of times that we have never once ever attempted to sound like we know what it is like to have diabetes, because we don’t.  With that comes the statement that no matter what we say, our kids know we don’t know what they are feeling and sometimes that becomes the ‘great divide’ in trying to ask them to do what we know would be correct in their management.

We know because educate ourselves.  But I have found that what could take me a good deal of time to explain, Kaitlyn or Rob can say to each other in just a few words and the impact is instantaneous.  They get it.  They understand each other.  They are more connected than we, as parents, could ever understand.

I hate diabetes.  I hate it times two more than most.  But there is no denying the fact that what Rob and Kaitlyn do for each other, give each other; could never be matched in 100 years by someone, us; who do not have diabetes.  We have our place but a sibling has a direct line to understanding and communicating that we, put simply, could never have.

And that is an incredible blessing.

I am a diabetes dad

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12 replies on “Having More than One Child with Diabetes………..A Blessing????? Really?????”

Don’t know what to say, but I have to comment, having 2 dkids myself, I get what you mean. I remember younger dkid at 3 yo (right after dx) saying she wanted a pump just like her sister. Thanks for posting this.

I am amazed at some of their conversations that out of respect for them, I will leave for just them……but they so ‘get’ each other—-something I may never understand. Thanks for chimimbg in.

Thanks for the post, Tom. I actually feel the same myself, to some degree – in having a mom who’d been living with type 1 for a quarter century or so before I was diagnosed at 5. It does seem like a blessing in that our family wasn’t hit “out of the blue” and flat-footed like so many where it comes out of nowhere.

My son was dxd. 2/2011 and my daughter 4/2012. When I was checking her BG at home prior to her “official diagnosis” she asked if I thought she had diabetes like her brother. I told her that yes I did….she seemed to just accept that. She obviously has said that she doesn’t want to have diabetes. I believe her transition was that much easier because of her brother. They do have a bond. He has helped her so much and I am grateful on one hand they have each other. On the other, may we find a cure and take this from them.

Upon diagnosis my younger daughter said “yeah, now I’m just like Hannah”…. That attitude has certainly changed over the years. Lol. Now all three of my kids have t1, blessing, I don’t know….

My son (5yrs) doesn’t have a sibling with D, but does now have a male friend also 5 who was diagnosed shortly after him. We are encouraging the friendship for the very reason stated in your article….they will ‘know’ and can potentially help each other. So if your child doesn’t have a diagnosed sibling, they can still find that connection that we are parents cannot, though we try!

How does one cope with two kids with D? Ironic this post comes after spending several hours online and texting a fellow D mom who just rushed her 2nd child to the ER frantically with another type 1 diagnosis. In critical condition, now in PICU. What amazes me is the DOC stepping in to help out this single mom as she requested a priest for a blessing. We talked her through it, had moms of multiple D kids step in. That is a blessing in itself. It was sad hearing of another diagnosis, but what a relief to have the DOC help in the middle of the night when this mom called for help. Now, her two kids with D can support each other because “they get it”. Thankful for our Diabetes Online Community and amazing support.

My daughter, age 12 was diagnosed last night. My son, age 5, was diagnosed 4 years, 1 month and 5 days ago today. I was devastated then. I am devastated now. As you said, I cannot even begin to relate. But I certainly hope that somehow they will grow to have a bond and connection that only siblings can have.

Thanks for this post. I have identical twin 2 year daughters. My daughters were diagnosed in August of last year and April of this year. As upset as we were to hear about our 2nd daughter diagnosis there is comfort in knowing they will have a partner for life, to hold each other accountable. While my wife and Me own life has become infinitely more stressful and difficult it pales in comparison to what my daughters, too you to even communicate with us how they feel, will have to deal with over the course of their lives.

I was out Wednesday night for Girl’s night, and having a hard time explaining to my friend my sense of grief and loss at my daughter’s diagnosis. Not just for all the obvious feelings, but I grieve for the loss of connection with her, the loss of identifying with her. My mother is gone, I have no sisters, but I have a daughter, and for six-and-a-half years I could look her in the eye and say, “me too.” Now though, itching she experiences will be very much like the way I experienced it.

I am glad that she has her father who also has diabetes, but I’m oddly jealous that it isn’t me. Just the truth. I know there are many other opportunities to connect with her, but I grieve for the lost one.

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