I want to establish from the onset, that this article is about what I feel. I do not know if it is the norm, I do not know if it is correct, but what I do know; it is how I feel. Kindly feel free to add to the discussion with what you feel.
I have written, many times, how I was right in the middle when a young person died from complications of T1 in 1994; when it happened. There was no internet that could instantaneously share with the world of this young person’s death. The unfortunate truth is that being in this diabetes world for as long as I have, I have seen more young people pass away than one could ever dream of seeing. One is too many.
There are many factors when it comes to dying from diabetes complications. Some families will share and some families will choose to keep to themselves the many details and influences; and that is surely their prerogative. I do not think I have once really needed-to-know of the very specifics of how someone died. What I mean is that I did not ask to hear details because it would not influence what we do in our house one iota.
I ask questions when I do not know. I ask questions if I need to understand more. I ask questions that will influence present behavior for better outcomes.
We have been around long enough to know what to do and how do it. At this stage in the diabetes world, I do not think we can learn anything more from how someone died that we could use to keep our children with T1 alive. And that is the honest truth.
If we are doing everything we can, if we are staying current on diabetes tools, insulins, care, and education…….what more can one do? As I stated, and PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS this any way you want to, but I have yet to hear details how someone died that lent itself to a discussion on changing anything in our household.
People have shared with me some very intimate details over the years and I never thought, “We need to do XYZ to make sure THAT does not happen to us.”
Yes, my heart has broken many times. I can share with you that if you live your life in paralyzing fear, you will do more damage than good in encouraging your child to live their lives to their fullest potential.
I have asked people with this fear about this before and many have shared that if they knew details they could make sure that it did not happen to their child. I will also share that I have talked to many families who have lost children and there is a common theme with most of them; that outside of being with your child every minute of every hour of every day; there was not much that could have been done.
Many things in life ‘can’ happen and it is a fact that people with diabetes surely have an increased exponential risk factor, but learning how to live is the best way for you and your family to cope with the fear of dying. People who enjoy life know the risks, accept the risks, and do everything in their power to stay healthy. Staying healthy to live is so much better than those that need to know every aspect of another’s death. And in all honest, I have never learned one thing in someone’s death that made me say, we need to change anything.
The best way to over come a fear; is to do what ever you can to have the knowledge needed. If you do not have that knowledge, go get it. After that, like so many other things in life, we have to leave it to the higher power we believe in (or not) because we have done all we can do.
I am a diabetes dad.
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