There is no room for the ‘F’ word in our world of diabetes. It’s enough that we do what we can, when we can, and the best way we can. The word ‘F’ailure need not apply yet we both hear it and use it all the time.
Everything regarding diabetes, it seems, has a gauge. Whether it be A1C, blood glucose, blood meters, CGMs, or anything else—if it has a number we seem to, hit it or miss it…..and since we miss it a lot….we declare our actions a failure. It is not made any better when many others TELL US that these numbers MUST BE HIT. And in our minds we have said, why is my child failing at this; or why am I failing at this?
I hate the ‘F’ word and the answer lies in the one word I stated above, gauge. Do we consider ourselves a failure if the thermometer says 101.3; or the speedometer states 72 in a 55 mph zone; or the temperature in a room is 68 instead of 65? Of course we don’t. Why? Because it’s a gauge. Nothing more. You look at a gauge and you adjust it and you move on.
So why is it that when it comes to diabetes, when the numbers are not perfect…..we feel that we failed? I have seen it time and time again. A parent comes home from the Doctor’s appointment and their very tone reflects that they beat themselves up because an A1C went up 1.5…..yeah, so? A child comes home from school and numbers are running 225-280 all day….failure; right? Wrong!!!
I’m not saying that we should not do something about it, we certainly should; but thinking we failed is just not correct.
And remember this, even more, when it comes to your child. I’m not saying that we all do not have to work together but be very careful when it comes to your kids. They try so hard to gain your approval……..in everything. If the meter says 310……your face can very easily ‘give you away’. Translation in your child’s mind; “I failed again”.
A healthy conversation should replace that grunt and facial expression. Not every time, but when you feel you must react, react by engaging in a conversation so everyone knows why numbers may be running high, or low; engage the gauge.
It is not your fault you have to deal with this disease and it is most important to understand and realize that it is SURELY NOT YOUR child’s fault they have diabetes. Must they take care of it? Absolutely; but remember this……and sometimes we need to remind ourselves of this point…..everything your child does; bicycle riding, playing, studying, sports, arts, watching TV, sleeping, eating, talking; they do with diabetes.
Stop right here and think of that for a moment. EVERYTHING.
The fact that our children do so much and achieve so much while battling diabetes is monumental. Do not bring down their huge amount of successes with a few things that do not land where we want.
Failure is but a word……..and in our house we do not use, nor experience, the ‘F’ word and if you are doing everything you can; neither should you.
I am a diabetes dad.
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One thought on “The “F” Word is Just Unacceptable…….Do YOUR Kids Use It?????”
very good timing on this one, friend. We have had to deal with illness and surgery to remove gallbladder, then another surgery to check for Crohns, and then a busy soccer season causing some terrible lows and rebound highs…. Now, a very undesirable A1c, and instantly my T1D thought she had failed in some way. I know we will get back on track, but it’s nice to hear from others in the DOC with reassurance that it’s going to be ok. <3