Diaversary???? For Us……Or For Our Kids??????

Kaitlyn's diaversaryDiaversary.  When you type it, the little red-squiggle-line is under it as a mis-spelled word; you won’t find it in any dictionary, but you will find it in the Diabetapedia (bet you did not know we had one of those in the diabetes community….did you?…but we do); but for all intent and purposes, the word-diaversary-does not exist, except in our little community.

Diaveresary…..the date on the calendar that is the exact date you, or your child, was diagnosed plus one, two, three, four, etc etc years later.

Do you have a Diaveresary?  Is it a celebration of a life lived?  Is it a day that you merely sit and think about everything that you all have been through? Is it a day you hate?  Is it just a date on the calendar that goes by without any notice….why should it; the word is made up and it doesn’t really exist……or does it?

I have seen people do all sorts of things on Diaversaries.  I have been told that families do nothing; ‘my child with diabetes’ gets enough attention, it just reminds my other children that my one with diabetes will get that much more.”  Interesting.

“My child puts up with so much and it is a celebration of all they do to live life to the fullest…..dang straight we are celebrating.” Understandable.

“We do nothing, we just want them to live as much as a normal day as possible; but we know, we reflect.” It just is.

“When they are all in bed, we drink ourselves to sleep…..it all just sucks.” Remembering the pain.

Chances are that some of these are familiar to you.  My questions is; if ‘Diaversary’ is more for the parents peace of mind than those who actually have diabetes?  The majority of people who I have talked to with diabetes, tell me, ‘just another day’.  Some tell me that they would never even remember the date were it not for us, the parents, with some sort of reminder.  Wow!

Some say it does not matter………it doesn’t change anything one way or another.

So as parents, we do everything we can to acclimate our kids to the ‘regular’ norm from the ‘new’ normal, we want them to participate in life in every aspect, we want them to go forward without a special light on anything so they do not stand out…….and then we stop everything to counter all of that by stopping on a day and saying, “Today is the day you were diagnosed”.

Celebration, good, sad, anger, life, etc etc……whatever the reason you choose to remember the day your child was diagnosed, or the day YOU were diagnosed; is the diaversary.  No right answer.  No wrong answer.

But if we, as parents, did nothing on our child’s diaversary—-what do you think would become of the day.  Would it be just a normal day like all of the others?

But isn’t that just what we wanted all along?  Thoughts?

I am a diabetes dad.

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0 thoughts on “Diaversary???? For Us……Or For Our Kids??????

  • Julie Anderson says:

    Like my wedding anniversary, birthday, death of a close family member, the date of diagnosis for our daughter was not just another day. I do still grieve that day, 11 years later, just like I heard Scott say at a CWD conference is OK. Pity party, cry, eat Ben & Jerry’s…that day did change the life of our family. Whether it is for myself & husband, for our daughter, it does not matter. It was a life changing day. Especially now with a 13 year old, 11 years in, hating this disease and avoiding caring for it, yes…big life changer! But, just my feelings and opinions. Just like some don’t celebrate Chr

    • Thanks Julie—-clearly, even by responses, so many handle it differently……let’s just say one of the responses in my article is MY response….I just did not feel like saying which one. 🙂

  • Great topic Tom! In our case, it definitely is all about me. If not for me, my son would have no clue as to when exactly he was diagnosed. He was two when it diagnosed and has no recollection of it happening, being in the hospital or anything related to the event. For me, I relive every second of that day, the days before and the months after every March 17. We don’t “celebrate”. I do congratulate him on the day with a text saying “Congratulations on living so well with diabetes for ____ years today!” He says “Thanks!” and continues on with his day. Diabetes is just a part of his life, something that has been there for as long as he can remember. I love that attitude.

  • hello
    My son Jake13 is coming up on 1 year April 27th and I have been thinking about what we should do? Do you have any suggestions? I do want to celebrate the day with him. He will also be looking at going on the pump soon also. His a1c numbers have been perfect A’s.
    Thanks
    Cristina

  • I, too, thought maybe it was just me, remembering a date in time that changed our lives….but the first year (maybe the 6th or 7th diaversary) that I forgot it, I got the comment two weeks later, “…Yeah, and you FORGOT this year…”. Maybe it was because I began “celebrating” another year we were beating diabetes at this game that she wanted to continue my acknowledging her hard work, but regardless of the reason, at year 12 last September, we still celebrated and this year will continue the tradition.

  • My daughters diaversery is Christmas Eve so she isn’t going to forget. In a way wish it could be a anonymous day.

  • I ask d my child what he wanted to do since we are just 10 months in on this lifelong journey and he responded “let it be. Let’s just have summer.” Diagnosed in June, we will just go about our summer. It is already filled with sun, water, joy, and cupcakes and so it will be – summer.

  • I did not used to celebrate it when I was young, but was always aware. Now I want to recognize it. I have worked hard at this disease and think the diaversary is a time for me to celebrate that hard work. I am 30 years in (diagnosed very young) and complication-free with an A1C that is often in the normal range. I have two beautiful children (yes, a healthy pregnancy is possible with type 1). I have lived and worked abroad. I have two degrees and a great job. I have a loving husband. I feel it is probably more challenging for me to do things than non-d’s, so I take that day to do something nice for myself and recognize my efforts.

  • We are only a month and half in to this new normal and all I can say is that for me, it feels like I’m grieving(all the while we keep keeping on), but inside…I’m grieving. So, much like I do when the anniversary of my mom’s death comes along, I think we will commemorate it in some way. Some years it’s with tears, some years it rolls right on past me and I realized a few days to weeks later and some years I do something concrete, go some place she and I enjoyed together, cook a favorite recipe of hers, etc. For me, I think (don’t quote me on it though) we will see how it hits us when it gets here and for my son, he can decide if he wants something more. Right now, I think the word Diabetes and Celebrate do not exist in the same universe.

    • It never goes away; that feeling….I can tell you after 22 1/2 years and two kids with T1. But you learn, or should learn, to channel it to be something that you learn to live with. Education/Knowledge is the equalizer for your own well being. The more you understand diabetes, the more you can take the steps to get ‘that new normal’ as close to ‘the old normal’ as possible.
      Best of luck.

  • Catherine Forbes says:

    We reflect, celebrate how far we’ve come – and eat cake. It’s a day of letting diabetes know that we won’t let it stop us. My daughter loves it. It’s her day.

  • We use the day to remmeber how well
    We have done over the past year. She gets a little charm to go on her pandora bracelet. Our 9yo daughter dxd at 4 deals with it daily but it’s very much a family matter. We also throw a birthday party for Ruby so there is always cake!

  • This is an interesting one – we had this debate last year. My daughter’s is this Sunday. It’ll be 4 years. I asked her about it the other day – she has no idea when the date is and cares less. Maybe this should guide us. I remember the diagnosis every day. I relive it every time I talk to someone about it. I’m no longer as sure as I was about the need to mark it in some way.

  • Angie McLaughlin says:

    We are coming up on our second one this year. We celebrate. When my son was diagnosed, our awesome hospital had xbox 360s in the rooms. Our first day there, my non-d son and I went to pick out some new games and both boys played them the whole time we were in the hospital. So now, both my sons, d and non-d get to pick out a new game each year on his Diaversary.

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