Sometimes…..It’s Better if YOU DON’T Do it ALL for them!!!!

dad girl bikeThere is a trail at the end of my block.  My street ends and there is a big hill and bike riders love riding up and continuing on the trail on the other side.  It can be a bit of a challenge to navigate.  Any car who dares go where they are not allowed, will reach the top and drop; thus being doomed until a flatbed can get them off a hill that they should never have been on to begin with.  If you do not know the hill, it’s more challenging than it looks.

Yesterday a family of four (a dad and three kids) came riding down the block, the dad picked up speed and navigated the hill.  The younger son did the same and made it also, the second youngest stopped, got off the bike and walked it over the top.  The youngest, a little girl, started up the hill and stopped.  She got off the bike and was looking at the hill.  Her dad walked back over the hill and was speaking to her.

After a few minutes, the dad dropped back about two steps behind the young girl and watched her live by her decision on how she would get over the top.  He followed her as she arrived at the top and shortly they were all on their way down the other side.

It was very impressive to watch.

It would have saved the whole group a lot of time if the dad just pushed the girl’s bike up and over the hill.  But what would she have learned?  He was there to guide her and I am sure catch her if she needed a hand.  He was just not so quick to jump in and help.

Of course we all have heard the old saying give someone a fish and they eat for a day, teach them to fish and they eat for a lifetime.  But at what point do we need to jump in?  At what point do we need to help?

Years ago my computer broke down.  I was calling around and it would have taken quite a few hundreds of dollars to fix.  My youngest, Rob, took a look at it and said if you buy XYZ for $29.99 it will fix it.  I knew Rob was aware of computers but I knew he could not be correct, or was he?  Didn’t the guy on the phone know more?

I remember saying to myself, “…..what’s the worst thing that could happen in this scenario?….”   So I agreed to buy the part and turn my computer over to him.  Result: Computer working like new again.  What a lesson to be learned for me.

Sometimes we need to take a step back and JUST NOT BE SO QUICK to come in and fix the situation.  Sometimes our kids learn more when they figure it out for themselves.  Sometimes we can also be taught.  Rob is now studying computers in college and he works full-time in the Geek Squad at Best Buy.  He may have always known that pathway, but until I stood back and became impressed with his skills, I might have not known to what extent he really liked computers and also I learned, he’s pretty darn good at it.

So when your child comes to a hill, ask yourself where you need to be?  Sometimes the best view is from a few stapes behind…….they’ll do it themselves, we should be there ‘just-in-case’.  They got ‘this’ more than we think.  Lesson learned……think about it.

I am a diabetes dad.
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