From the onset, I want to let you know that I do not have any incredible answers for what I am about to write; but I am ‘putting it out there’ so others may comment on how they have handled this situation which I am hearing more and more.
Parents of the parents. This includes both sides of the families and you can add aunts and uncles and anyone who should be in the mix as well. “Why didn’t she do as I asked?”
The frustration is real. You finally muster up the courage to go out and leave your child with your mom, dad, or whomever and upon your return; you find out that your directions were not adhered to and something was done against your instructions.
Number one. Take a breath. We, as parents, have all been there. Sometimes it is a mistake and at other times it is someone ‘thinking’ they know best. You are given a choice immediately; do you discuss it now or do you wait? I know it is hard but remember this; how many mistakes did we make when our child was first diagnosed? I made some doozies and there was no one there to correct it, we found out through many, many trials. Remember that point.
When we took our child (and it became children when Rob was also diagnosed) home, we had our instructions from the Doctor. We had the opportunity (for lack of a better phrase) of 24/7/365 correcting after time after time of ‘getting it’ wrong. No one is there to tell us our mistakes, we have/had to learn them.
Dropping our child off, and no matter how many times we go over it, mistakes will be made.
I have had the wonderful opportunity to be involved with the CWD (Children with Diabetes) group for some time. As biased as I am, I have found the grand parents track at their Friends for Life Conference in Florida each year to be incredibly useful, and one of the best that I have ever heard. If you have the opportunity, get there; and bring a parent or two. There are scholarships available as well; it is a week you, and your entire family, will never forget. Game changing for sure.
I share that information because as I have been there over the years I have heard story upon story from grandparents. Their roles in their grandchildren’s life are as different as snowflakes. Some heart breaking in fact.
But there are two constants in EVERY single story I have heard. One is fear. Two is they wanted to know more. Not unlike us as parents, but we have no choice but to ‘be at it’ always until we get it correct. Over twenty-one years out, I know I’m still ‘working out the kinks’. How about you?
I am not saying that our parents should not work harder when they watch our kids. I am not saying just forgive them when they ‘insist’ on doing things their way. I am saying, that the more kids with diabetes are watched; cared for; tended to; the better the chance the caretaker will ‘get it right’. Just as we did/do every day.
I am sure there are people who are involved in situations that are not ideal and the frustration level is very high. It is my hope that a dialogue can be had with people who have been there and were able to adjust positive; and what those did who were just involved in a cause that was beyond fixing.
I am also a believer that somewhere out there, someone is going through or has gone through what seems like a completely unusual circumstance and can help by sharing. Nothing is stringer than the voice of experience.
Please share your heartache and your success. Through dialogue a map can be charted.
I am a diabetes dad.
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