When it Hurt Too Much to Write

Hi there.
It has been a while since I wrote, but I’m still here.
One of the happiest times in my life was discussing my articles with my mom.
She was my sharpest critic but make no mistake, she was quite proud of the forum I now have.
My mom loved to write….she always did.
When I started this column she took great pride in the work and she loved that people were responding; there was a reaction.  Mom like that people commented.  That I made some friends and that I pissed some people off.  She said writers should not be friends with everyone.  “Never forget that”, she would remind me.

And all of a sudden………she was gone.  May 19th.  The Friday before the Preakness, she was picking the horses she would instruct my brother to place her wages.  And she would go to bed never to awake again.

Shortly after she died I rattled off a few columns.

I was proud of myself for writing some well received columns.  I can do this, even though mom is gone, I can do this.  I kept telling myself.

Uhm……..nope.   Almost instantaneously, the desire to write was gone.  No matter how many times I sat at the keyboard….all I could do was stare.  A few times, tears rolled down my cheeks.

Many times writers write not even knowing if anyone is even reading…..not too unlike a radio DJ talking into a microphone not knowing if there are ten thousand listeners, or not even one.  Nothing came to me.

My mom was the most incredible person and when she would like something I wrote, she would say, “That was really just from you.  It was your heart talking.”

So I sat down at the keyboard tonight……..and I wrote.

It’s just me, a DiabetesDad……..and his heart talking.  We’ll see where it goes.
I am a diabetes dad.
Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

 

11 thoughts on “When it Hurt Too Much to Write

  1. I understand so completely. My Mom passed 3 years ago at FFL and when I returned home I tried to pick up my camera (I’m a photographer) and because her feed back meant so much I had a very hard time getting back at it. She is watching from the highest seat and always will be xo

    Shari Michaelson

  2. So sorry Tom. It’s a devastating loss. The gap she has left can sometimes almost engulf you. As time goes by the loss does NOT get less. Not ever. But you build around it so it’s just more in proportion xxx take care. And keep writing

  3. So sorry to hear about the loss of your mother in May.Mothers are the best and when they pass they take part of you.I miss my mom everyday she was my best friend.In regards to do people read what you write of course we do I’ve been type 1 for 58 years and am always looking for info on diabetes in any form whether it is from a parent (my mom went through this’s with me)or a person with type 1 like myself.So please continue to write your mom is looking over you and I’m sure she wants you to continue what you were doing before her passing.Take care ! Big hug sent your way !

  4. So sorry for your loss. I commiserate as I lost my mom just a week later. It hurts so much. Blessings to you and the important work you do.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.