The Journey is the Destination…Do We REALLY Fail?

Screw FailureI’m speaking to a friend who shares with me ‘how hard’ they are working (with their child) so that the next visit to the doctor they will have a different A1C.  “It’s so hard and we are doing everything we can. But the sacrifice will be worth it.”  Another friend struggling so hard to lose weight (which I am VERY familiar), “I really need to look better and am working so HARD to get there.” And still another friend on, “It’s my only goal to get out of this job.”

Then what?

I have often wondered what happens when someone reaches their goal when a particular goal takes up ALL of their time and energy.  As I watched the Olympics, I was struck by the comments on those who were in the Olympics in 2012 and failed to medal, and ‘…..came back to reach their goal….’

“Failed to medal”?  Wow.

So if you medal, you succeed, and if you do not; you failed.  Your body has become the most incredible specimen on earth and you are in the top .0001 % in your particular sport compared to the rest of the world’s population but if you do not medal, you failed.. And what about those who win.  They get their medal.  Then what?

When I left the acting world, after Kaitlyn’s diagnosis, you would be surprised on how many people asked me if I was sad I did not ‘make it’ as an actor?  Make it?  According to whom?  Awards?  Won a few, nominated for a few.  Money?  Made some.  Not tons. Interesting that I qualify for a pension when I retire from Actor’s Equity, not a lot; but more than about 90% who will not get any.  And I have worked with some REALLY GREAT projects over the years with the most talented people on earth.  Did I really not make it?

You see I learned a long time ago that the goals I reach for are every day.  Some goals with a stretch to keep me growing but it’s the daily goals that are the most important and here’s the thing; they’re my goals.  Not by the standards of others.  My goals.
When it came to our kids’ diabetes, same thing.  Our goals.

I did not compare to other people’s stories.  We did not live by numbers, for numbers, and against numbers for any other reason but close control mean feeling better.  Trying to stay away from ‘swings’ were for the only reason to feel better.  Success, and some better days than others.  We learned and we moved on.  But the goal was to try our best each day.  Because if you try your best each day, your goal is set and evaluated by working toward your best, and observing the perfect things already in your life.

A child’s smile.  A touch.  A gesture.  A good deed.  Being with the people around us. You know many….many loved ones are not with us anymore….would they not think that just having the ability of one more day a HUGE SUCCESS?   Many times when I travel, if I am at a restaurant I surely cannot take the ‘leftovers’ back with me to my room.  I ask for a box and pack up what I did not eat.  When I leave, I leave the box by a homeless person, and walk away.  It makes me feel really good.  What was the effort?  Zero.  Do something for someone….smile on face, goal reached.

My point is that the world is harsh on how we look, what we do, what we don’t do; but yet how much does the world give us to succeed?………so why let the world dictate on whether or not we are successful. How much are you succeeding at that is going right by you.   Set a goal today, small as it may be.  And go for it.  Notice the goals you do reach.   The majority of us do not have that ‘drive’ to become a Professional or an Olympian and I applaud those who do.   But honestly, I would rather work toward something each and every day that I CAN achieve than to lay it all on the line to have ‘failed’ and need to try for another fours year to ‘try again’.

I’ll take a lot of little reached goals reached daily thank you, and will try tomorrow again. A lot of ‘littles’ make a life.  Think about it.

I am a diabetes dad.
Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

 

STOP IT…….It Happened Again.

InsanityI was reading last night and again a mom wrote about coming from the Doctor and how upset she was because her child’s A1C was 8.2.  She tried everything and was so upset that the number ‘was not better’.  She realized how important the number was to her child and she felt like she failed again.  I have written about this before but it needs repeating.

STOP IT!!!!!!!!!  It is just insane to keep beating yourself up.

Did you hear me:  STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The A1C is a number.  It is a gauge.  It is a barometer on blood glucose numbers that are there to map-out a course of action.  Yes, a long time high A1C is something you surely want to correct.  But when you are driving and your GPS says those magic words ‘Re-routing destination’ do you yell and scream at it because you went off the guided roadway?  NO.  And neither should you when you receive ‘a bad’ A1C number.

I tell EVERYONE this just in case you read this ‘self-beating’ from someone on line or hear it at a support group meeting. Jump right on and encourage them what it means…..and tell them to work toward the steps they need to get to the ideal A1C.  Let’s all work to get this stigma of ‘failure’ out of the equation.  There is enough to feel bad about, don;t you think? 

But this idea of FAILING MUST stop.  Let’s work together to encourage those to use the A1C as just the tool it was meant to be,  And leave the yelling for going off the guided mapped roadway to spouses while traveling in a car.

I am a diabetes dad.

Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.