The Journey is the Destination…Do We REALLY Fail?

Screw FailureI’m speaking to a friend who shares with me ‘how hard’ they are working (with their child) so that the next visit to the doctor they will have a different A1C.  “It’s so hard and we are doing everything we can. But the sacrifice will be worth it.”  Another friend struggling so hard to lose weight (which I am VERY familiar), “I really need to look better and am working so HARD to get there.” And still another friend on, “It’s my only goal to get out of this job.”

Then what?

I have often wondered what happens when someone reaches their goal when a particular goal takes up ALL of their time and energy.  As I watched the Olympics, I was struck by the comments on those who were in the Olympics in 2012 and failed to medal, and ‘…..came back to reach their goal….’

“Failed to medal”?  Wow.

So if you medal, you succeed, and if you do not; you failed.  Your body has become the most incredible specimen on earth and you are in the top .0001 % in your particular sport compared to the rest of the world’s population but if you do not medal, you failed.. And what about those who win.  They get their medal.  Then what?

When I left the acting world, after Kaitlyn’s diagnosis, you would be surprised on how many people asked me if I was sad I did not ‘make it’ as an actor?  Make it?  According to whom?  Awards?  Won a few, nominated for a few.  Money?  Made some.  Not tons. Interesting that I qualify for a pension when I retire from Actor’s Equity, not a lot; but more than about 90% who will not get any.  And I have worked with some REALLY GREAT projects over the years with the most talented people on earth.  Did I really not make it?

You see I learned a long time ago that the goals I reach for are every day.  Some goals with a stretch to keep me growing but it’s the daily goals that are the most important and here’s the thing; they’re my goals.  Not by the standards of others.  My goals.
When it came to our kids’ diabetes, same thing.  Our goals.

I did not compare to other people’s stories.  We did not live by numbers, for numbers, and against numbers for any other reason but close control mean feeling better.  Trying to stay away from ‘swings’ were for the only reason to feel better.  Success, and some better days than others.  We learned and we moved on.  But the goal was to try our best each day.  Because if you try your best each day, your goal is set and evaluated by working toward your best, and observing the perfect things already in your life.

A child’s smile.  A touch.  A gesture.  A good deed.  Being with the people around us. You know many….many loved ones are not with us anymore….would they not think that just having the ability of one more day a HUGE SUCCESS?   Many times when I travel, if I am at a restaurant I surely cannot take the ‘leftovers’ back with me to my room.  I ask for a box and pack up what I did not eat.  When I leave, I leave the box by a homeless person, and walk away.  It makes me feel really good.  What was the effort?  Zero.  Do something for someone….smile on face, goal reached.

My point is that the world is harsh on how we look, what we do, what we don’t do; but yet how much does the world give us to succeed?………so why let the world dictate on whether or not we are successful. How much are you succeeding at that is going right by you.   Set a goal today, small as it may be.  And go for it.  Notice the goals you do reach.   The majority of us do not have that ‘drive’ to become a Professional or an Olympian and I applaud those who do.   But honestly, I would rather work toward something each and every day that I CAN achieve than to lay it all on the line to have ‘failed’ and need to try for another fours year to ‘try again’.

I’ll take a lot of little reached goals reached daily thank you, and will try tomorrow again. A lot of ‘littles’ make a life.  Think about it.

I am a diabetes dad.
Please visit my Diabetes Dad FB Page and hit ‘like’.

 

Diabetes Winning in your House?—3 Who Inspire Daily—Learn.

Are you living on life support?   I’m amazed when I read or hear some of the stories people relay living life with their children and the ‘new’ normal of diabetes in the household.  Some good, some not so good.  But let’s focus on the good and see if it can help those who live with such adversity in their life.  Ask yourself this as you move forward reading, am I living to the fullest or am I allowing myself to be beaten?

Remember this; we all are living with diabetes and I am fully aware that sometimes it will always get us into the dumps.  No matter how great an attitude we think we have, there will always be a time when we need a jump-start because we just get so tired.  (dealing with an all night blood sugar over 500 this week…..such a time).

But why is it that we can read stories or a Facebook post from Moira McCarthy or Diane Pridmore, and even on a bad day, they put a smile on our face with how they approach dealing with day-to-day diabetes? 

Diane has this incredible talent of making you feel present at her child’s Miss Kitty themed birthday party and make you smile with delight in her descriptions; and on another day she will zap you with:
“Here’s a news flash: I don’t have diabetes. My son does and until you get up three, four, eight times a night…. Write a 504…. Battle a nurse….or any other obstacle in human life PLUS diabetes you should STFU. Message me or call me and I am happy to educate you. Proper.”
But nowhere do you get the feeling that this mom is ever going to let diabetes win this war.  Her strength and willingness to help anyone who comes across her path is downright enviable.

Moira has been at this for 15 years…..15!!!!!  This is extremely important to take notice because this mom’s fight seems stronger than when she started when her daughter was diagnosed in 1997.  A recent post on Facebook:
“Yesterday I spoke at the Joslin at a really cool event for teens with Type 1 and their parents — sponsored by ADA, Joslin and the College Diabetes Network. Last night a donation to my JDRF Ride to Cure effort came through from a dad I met THAT DAY. I mean, wow. And: more proof that most of the d organizations work in harmony.”
Seriously?  Does this look like a woman who has any intention of slowing down soon? 

Even those Parents that suffered the absolute incredible ultimate heartache teach us a lesson every day.  This was posted today by Michelle Page Alswager who lost her son Jesse;
“I could spend the day reliving one horrific and indescribable day or I can spend it reliving 13 great years of memories. Happy 16 Jesse. We miss you.”  

How bad is your day…….really?    

What’s my point?  You can let every single detail of diabetes in your life; each high, low, insulin reaction, pump malfunction, not eating, eating too much, kids not listening and any other struggle strapped down with the weight of the world and let it pull you under……..or……..you can deal with diabetes to the best of your ability; suffer the pains, but LIVE the LIFE.

DO not think for one moment that the three women I highlighted here today don’t have the absolute low of the lows sometimes?  You cannot control diabetes coming into your home, but you can control what you do with it when it takes up residence.

Diane, Moira, and Michelle are great teachers of that……..it’s up to you whether you choose to learn or not.  They have taught me plenty……..how about you?

I am a Diabetesdad.