I’m speaking to a friend who shares with me ‘how hard’ they are working (with their child) so that the next visit to the doctor they will have a different A1C. “It’s so hard and we are doing everything we can. But the sacrifice will be worth it.” Another friend struggling so hard to lose weight (which I am VERY familiar), “I really need to look better and am working so HARD to get there.” And still another friend on, “It’s my only goal to get out of this job.”
I have often wondered what happens when someone reaches their goal when a particular goal takes up ALL of their time and energy. As I watched the Olympics, I was struck by the comments on those who were in the Olympics in 2012 and failed to medal, and ‘…..came back to reach their goal….’
“Failed to medal”? Wow.
So if you medal, you succeed, and if you do not; you failed. Your body has become the most incredible specimen on earth and you are in the top .0001 % in your particular sport compared to the rest of the world’s population but if you do not medal, you failed.. And what about those who win. They get their medal. Then what?
When I left the acting world, after Kaitlyn’s diagnosis, you would be surprised on how many people asked me if I was sad I did not ‘make it’ as an actor? Make it? According to whom? Awards? Won a few, nominated for a few. Money? Made some. Not tons. Interesting that I qualify for a pension when I retire from Actor’s Equity, not a lot; but more than about 90% who will not get any. And I have worked with some REALLY GREAT projects over the years with the most talented people on earth. Did I really not make it?
You see I learned a long time ago that the goals I reach for are every day. Some goals with a stretch to keep me growing but it’s the daily goals that are the most important and here’s the thing; they’re my goals. Not by the standards of others. My goals.
When it came to our kids’ diabetes, same thing. Our goals.
I did not compare to other people’s stories. We did not live by numbers, for numbers, and against numbers for any other reason but close control mean feeling better. Trying to stay away from ‘swings’ were for the only reason to feel better. Success, and some better days than others. We learned and we moved on. But the goal was to try our best each day. Because if you try your best each day, your goal is set and evaluated by working toward your best, and observing the perfect things already in your life.
A child’s smile. A touch. A gesture. A good deed. Being with the people around us. You know many….many loved ones are not with us anymore….would they not think that just having the ability of one more day a HUGE SUCCESS? Many times when I travel, if I am at a restaurant I surely cannot take the ‘leftovers’ back with me to my room. I ask for a box and pack up what I did not eat. When I leave, I leave the box by a homeless person, and walk away. It makes me feel really good. What was the effort? Zero. Do something for someone….smile on face, goal reached.
My point is that the world is harsh on how we look, what we do, what we don’t do; but yet how much does the world give us to succeed?………so why let the world dictate on whether or not we are successful. How much are you succeeding at that is going right by you. Set a goal today, small as it may be. And go for it. Notice the goals you do reach. The majority of us do not have that ‘drive’ to become a Professional or an Olympian and I applaud those who do. But honestly, I would rather work toward something each and every day that I CAN achieve than to lay it all on the line to have ‘failed’ and need to try for another fours year to ‘try again’.
I’ll take a lot of little reached goals reached daily thank you, and will try tomorrow again. A lot of ‘littles’ make a life. Think about it.
I am a diabetes dad.
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