I have a friend; let’s call her K. K has a son, let’s call him Z. I have known K for a very long time and she was an incredible actress. I thought nothing could ever surpass her talent, but it did, it was K’s incredible and wonderful heart. She is an incredible mom and her family has become her life. It’s not surprising in the least.
Recently K share a story about her son who was on a football team. Z decided that playing football was not for him. Despite the uniform, the money laid out, and the time invested, once Z stated and meant that he wanted out; K allowed him to get out. She applauded her son for letting her know how he felt and she backed his decision. Z no longer plays football.
Now to some this may seem a very easy choice. But I also know parents who kept their child involved in things that the child absolutely hated. “I need to teach them that they cannot quit something once they commit.” Is their thought process. This is a very fine line to walk and the discussion relates directly to our diabetes world.
Laying out money for an insulin pump and/or a CGM is a big investment in both time and money. At what point are we doing what is best for our child and what point are we absolutely torturing our child? Now it’s understood that our children may absolutely HATE checking blood sugar and taking insulin and of course we cannot ever stop that process no matter what, but………when it comes to the devices that our children wear, when is the decision a must; and when is it a cooperative decision with our children?
A tough line to draw in the sand….yes?
Okay. So the decision has been made. You are approved and you receive the device, your child wears it. Tries it. And after a given time………THEY ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. Hate IT!!!!!!
What do you do?
IN actuality, I’m not asking THAT question. That’s for you to conclude in your house. My point is for those who come to the decision to remove the device and try managing without it. It’s crucial that should/when that decision be made that neither you and especially your child, are ever made to feel as though you failed, and even more so, that your child failed. I’m a HUGE FAN of both the insulin pump and the CGM. But it’s easy to be a fan when I do not have to wear either/both 24/7.
My dear, late, friend Dr. Richard Rubin’s voice is very loud and clear in my head in these instances. “It’s about choices.” Discuss the choices ahead for you and your child. If they are absolutely against it, forcing them could have an adverse impact for a long time. Be careful. I’m not going to even attempt giving you a formula for what works and what does not in these instances because it’s just so different with each person/family. I am going to say that people lived very long lives without, and before, the addition of these incredible tools.
Not using one, or going on one and going off one, is not the sign of failing and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. How you handle this situation will set the framework for the possibility of using a device in the future. People, our kids too, can change their mind. Allowing them do so, for or against, is a very important part of their management. The only non-negotiable (outside of checking and taking insulin of course–and even at that, my friend Joe S. and 50 years with diabetes states that a ‘vacation’ to some days is worthy to do very carefully—-ask Joe about how to do that!!!!) was the wearing of their ‘alert’ bracelet or necklace.
Everything else became a choice.
For the most part we came to a mutual decision and even when Kaitlyn was pretty young, it went that way as well. Easy? Nope. So the take-away here is defining what a failure IS NOT. It’s not about deciding against something. Just as K’s son, Z, made the choice that football was not for him. Not a life and death decision surely, but how K let this play out was very important and a lesson to be learned. It was handled perfectly.
Failure is staying in something that is just wrong. How you define that is up to you and/or your child. Think about it.
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