What a Horrible Parent!!!!!!

i am so badI am such a horrible parent!!!

Ever say that?  How could I have reacted in such a manner?

When Kaitlyn was a little girl, I stated to Jill that I should correct (or lightly discipline) her in front of my son, T.J. so he did not think she was getting all the attention. 

I waited for the right moment forgetting the warning Jill gave me: “Make sure you know her blood sugar number before you do anything.”

Sure, sure; I’m Diabetesdad (I am thinking) I got this no problem.    Kaitlyn was around 3  or 4 and TJ was around 6 or 7.

Bingo.  Opportunity.  I don’t even remember what it was that she did ‘wrong’ but I stated something like “Honey, you should not have done that”,  In a  loud but not screaming voice.  TJ was right there and I thought; “…. this is perfect.”

With that, Kaitlyn looked up at me; her lip started to quiver, tears rolled down her little cherub cheeks.
(Oh my God what have I done?)  The absolute unthinkable happened.
She pee’d all over herself.

The horror on my face could have been read around the world. 

T.J. ran into the kitchen and speaking at the same time as he grabbed napkins.  “It’s okay Kaitlyn honey, I’ll clean you up.”  He started wiping her down as he was telling her it would all be okay. 

I took her to her room and changed her.  I checked her blood sugar and of course she was over 400.

Mortified.  Paralyzed.  What could have possibly had possessed me to be such an incredibly horrid father.    WHAT DID I DO?

I could not shake it for weeks.  It took me a long time to come to the realization that a bad choice or an incorrect choice is part of this entire “new normal’.    If I beat myself up every time I made a wrong choice I would be dead by now from the wounds.  But that does not make it any easier. 

I know that I could say that we need to move-on after these incidents but because I say it; it does not make those feelings just magically disappear.  They exist.

Know this; we all go through these feelings.  They happen.  They happened before.  They will happen again.  Also know that if diabetes was not in your family; this would not be an issue.  So before you beat yourself up too bad, it won’t change anything.  Our ONLY choice is to learn what we can and apply when possible to make sure it doesn;t happen again.

But that doesn’t make it all better does it?

What has happened in your life that you can share?

I am a diabetesdad.


PS–Feel free to hit ‘like’ on my Diabetes Dad Facebook page.


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I Would Not Tell You What To Do….no…No…NO!


Two friends are having lunch.  A third person joins them and says, “Hey, did you see the clown out front?” One friend responds, “Was it a real clown or one dressed as one?”

My point; people hear (or in this case, read) something but do not catch the full meaning.  I posted something two days ago which in many circles became a very healthy conversation.  In others…….not so much.  A few people posted what they thought my blog was about and the discussions took off from there. 

I, (I would like to say never but my folks taught me never say never) try to take the pathway that does not tell anyone how their diabetes should be managed.  It’s a very personal choice for people with diabetes and for parents managing their kids.

I certainly would not want it done to me, and I try VERY HARD not to do it to others.  Motivation?  Get Involved? Don’t do Nothing?  Yes that I do.  Management? NO.

My post two days ago entitled, My Child, When Low…Will Wake up…..Right?  Um…..Not Necessarily was in no way meant to; or suggest that one should or should not wake up in the middle of the night for night-time blood checks.  A few people commented in various places and it was ‘off to the races’.

Whether you do or don’t is up to you and your choice alone.  My purpose of the post was only to say that I always thought that a low blood sugar would wake up my kids as it has……..but relying on that; I needed to take another look.

If blood sugars are at a level that you are comfortable with at bedtime and you are okay with that; that is fine by me.  I have no right to say otherwise.  I was pointing out that I ALWAYS thought my kids woke up…..and I now question that IN OUR LIVES.

What you do is up to you.

I share this because the purpose of my blog is to make people think and inspire when possible by shining a light on the so much so many do every day with that asterisk called diabetes.

Never misunderstand or mis-communicate my words……….diabetes management is up to you.  MDI, Pumps, CGMs, insulin, meds, dogs, no dogs, —-it is not my place to tell you what to do—-and no one else should either. 

I have been astonished at the wonderful feedback which I thoroughly have enjoyed over the past few weeks since I started this blog as over 11,000 people have read what I have written.  I just wanted to set the record straight how I like to work/write and know that I’m an open book and I can be asked anything at any time.


I’m a Diabetesdad.